Sunday, November 27, 2005
Working On My List
Killing a few minutes updating my Amazon List when I came across what I can only hope is a typo.
My it's one of those International Man Of Mystery SD cards. Somehow I just have an issue sticking a $1,000,000.00 (give or take a hundred thousand dollars) SD card in a $75.00 MP3 player.
amazon
fricksworld
typo
Wal-Mart Puts Shine On Lackluster Holiday Sales
Don't we hear that every year? We all bitch and moan about Wal-Mart, but someone, somewhere seems to be spending money at Walley World.
Quote:
"The chief economist for the International Council of Shopper Centers says that while Friday's numbers are a bit flat, they may be misleading, because 2004 was so strong."
So are you saying it was a good Black Friday? I'm confused. Maybe they want us to believe it's a bad spending season so that we will feel sorry for the retailers. Yeah, that's it..........
Another Quote:
"According to MarketWatch, credit-card company Visa said that total spending on its branded credit cards on Friday grew about 14 percent from last year to over $3.9 billion, a good initial indication for strong holiday retail sales." "LINK"
Looks like VISA is pleased, 14% increase over last year. I guess you could say VISA is going to have a good holiday season.
Friday, November 25, 2005
There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1
The suit case is un-packed. Tonight will be the forth night in a row I'm been in my own bed, it's been a while, it's nice.
Black Friday
I found this little gem at "Linens & Things". An AM/FM/CD player for the shower which includes a fog free mirror and get this an alarm. Then I look closer and it has a snooze button on it. I can understand getting drunk and passing out in the shower (been there, done that, got a t-shirt) and having had the foresight to have set the alarm the evening before. I just don't get actually having to have a "Snooze" button, much less being able to use it in a drunken stupor the morning after "Maybe if I just get another 10 minutes of sleep I will wake up sober"
Ah, Grasshopper
This trick was taught to me overseas by the Zen master "Banzan Corkus Removeus". This was the same Zen master that explained and then demonstrated the "One handed man clapping" mystery for me.
First find an empty bottle of wine and cork. Somehow manage to get the cork back into the empty bottle.
Now in your best Zen Master voice ask everybody in the room if they think you can remove the cork from the bottle without breaking it. Next in your best Zen Master voice ask how much they are willing to pay in order to see you perform this Zen Master trick. This trick is worth at least $5.00.
Once you have a commitment as to a financial benefit you will receive grab a cloth napkin from the table. Oh, did I fail to mention that you will need a cloth napkin? Sorry, if you don't have a cloth napkin you are basically screwed. Roll the napkin into a tube and feed it down the throat of the bottle. Once it is down the throat of the bottle the tube will expand. Tilt the bottle upside down so that the cork falls into the center of the napkin tube.
Slowly work the cork napkin combination right up to the throat of the bottle. Next give the napkin a quick and powerful jerk and the cork will come flying right out.
Now grab your cash.
Breakfast Of Champions
It's been a good 14 or 15 hours since we stuffed ourselves with food. Soooooo what do I hear this morning but "We are hungry" hungry? I'm still having a hard time sitting upright and my stomach is still making all those funny noises. Well family there's bunches left over from last night, have at it.
What do they exit the kitchen with but derby pie and ice cream, at 8:30 am. I see a path littered with food issues.
With The Holidays Here, It's Time To Take Care
We are going to dispense some job safety information (OSHA would be proud) this morning. This information is to serve both the participant and then the one who has to clean up the mess.
Confessions of a photocopier repairman
Photocopier supplier Canon is warning customers to take better care of their office equipment during the Christmas period, claiming that the festive season traditionally leads to a 25 percent hike in service calls due to incidents such as the classic backside copying prank. "LINK"Having spent a year or two in the office equipment business myself I can attest that such tragedy does strike and it usually involves booze and the phrase "Hey, you'all watch this"
Although I have never had to clean up a "pressed ham" accident I did receive a service call one time for a young lady that had been on a radical weight lose program. She was removing a jam from the machine when due to the significant weight lose her wedding ring slid off her finger and into the copier. We managed to retrieve her ring and I suggested eating something with a bunch of salt in order to get her fingers to swell and lock that ring back on her bony digit.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Still Speaking Of Sony
Could the have been "Sony Dude #1" being quoted on this shirt above? Open mouth insert foot, I can see the spin doctors lining up to handle this one.
Will you be able to buy one of "these" in time for Christmas? via "Boing Boing"
Wanna Buy An X-Box 360?
Check you local retail outlet and if it's not there then you better sharpen up your pens so you can write a big check. You can find them on "e-Bay". Don't worry to much because by the time Sony's new Playstation is out there will be plenty of X-Boxes to be had.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
A Few Laughs, A Very Few
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
An Ornament That No One Wants
Saw this at "KateSpot". Some people think of everything. Here's the link in case you really, no I mean really want to buy one, or unless you are a psychic. "LINK"
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Just Finished Watching "The Office"
which is as funny as it gets and it reminded me of this site "Overheard In The Office".
1PM Lunch
HR #1: She said she's going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What's this doctor's name, again?
1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts
Monday, November 21, 2005
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Safety Is No Accident
It seems that Mercedes had so much confidence in this system they decided to demonstrate it for a German TV station. Things did not go as planned and the television crew got to film a three car pile up. Here is the "LINK" via "DIGG"
Here is my favorite quote from the article:
The system "works perfectly in all other circumstances", according to Mercedes.
In all other circumstances, if it's a radar breaking system that's the only circumstance that it needs to work perfectly in.
It doesn't need to work well when you turn on the head lights or roll down the window it needs to work well when you go to stop.
Those crazy Germans.........
How Did You Get Your Roots That Color?
Here is my understanding of the basic timeline surrounding this whole mess.
Early part of 2005
Sony decides to release copy protected CD's. I'm sure that someone had to think this was a good idea, probably, some guy named Sony Dude #1.
No mention of this new XCP feature, doesn't Sony send out a press release when an executive passes a kidney stone?
Sometime after that I would imagine that there was a crazy conversation similar to this
Sony Dude #1 It's been a few months, no one's the wiser to the XCP install, what do you think we should do?
Sony Dude #2 Well, what do you say that we make an announcement that were sorry we violated the publics trust and just come clean.
Sony Dude #1 What are you nuts, lets slap that XCP junk on a few more titles.
Ex-Sony Dude #2 Would you like to biggie size that value meal.
October 31
"Mark Russinovich" writes on his blog that he has discovered this hidden "rootkit" file in Sony's CD's. Hey guess what rootkits are the same as a "Trojan Horse" and a Trojan Horse is a virus so in my very non-technical opinion I would say that a rootkit is a virus.
OK, OK, so it's not really a virus but a good security hole that has already been exploited. The damn hackers can't even write their own code they just piggy back in on someone elses...
That afternoon after hearing the name Mark Russinovich for the first time
Sony Dude #1 Damn
November 1
Sony puts out a patch to un-hide the rootkit. Un-hide not get rid of.
Sony Dude #1 "Hey it's only 20 titles", "which titles? oh, we can't tell you that, but we can tell you it's only 20 titles."
November 8
The big anti-virus companies begin working on fixes for these infected computers
It looks like there are a whole bunch of people who were lucky enough to buy some these 20 CD titleswhich no one seems to know the names of.
November 11
Sony Dude #1 OK, lets stop manufacturing these XCP CD's people are starting to get pissed.
Sony Dude #3 Do you think we should recall these titles
Sony Dude #1 Not no, but hell no
Ex Sony Dude #3 Would you like to biggie size that value meal.
November 14
Sony Dude #1 Hey everyone I've come up with a great idea, lets recall these titles. I can't really fill you in right now as to how we are going to do this but we are, and I mean that, we are an honest company, really we are.
November 15
The 20 XCP titles grow to 49
Sony Dude #1 Did we ever say 20? I don't remember saying to 20, it has always been 49 titles. We are an honest company, really we are.
November 16
Sony now posts "a list" of all 53 titles and offers exchanges to the public.
Sony Dude #1 I don't remember saying 49, there has always been 53 titles. We are an honest company, really we are.
Hey look a puppy!
As of this evening Sony is making available non-copy protected MP3's. I can't tell you if that's fair or not since I wasn't the recipient of any of these special Sony CD's.
This whole XCP crap was put together to keep people from stealing Sony's music, which would account for a loss of revenue to Sony or in other words "cost Sony money."
Now someone comes along and decides to deceive the public, this in my opinion, is where Sony went wrong. If they had just made the information public people could then decide if they wish to purchase a CD with this special added feature. Odds are pretty good that if people wanted the tunes bad enough they would still make the purchase.
Odds are damn good that someone would have hacked the XCP code by now.
To sum it up it appears that Sony will be forced to spend a whole bunch of money, money that they probably weren't prepared to spend. All this in order to make right on their original plan. The original plan that they concocted in order to save Sony money.
Maybe Sony's mission statement should include "You can't go wrong telling the truth"
Sometime in December
Ex Sony Dude #1 Would you like to biggie size that value meal.
Frick's World Travel Tip #19
This is aimed more for the female traveler than the male traveler, what can I say we don't discriminate. Have you trembled with anticipation as you entered a public bathroom because you don't know what lies on the other side of the door? Then check out "The Bathroom Diaries"
Thanks to this site when vacation time rolls around I will no longer be forced to drive from gas station to gas station looking for one that appears to be acceptable to the female members of Frick's World.
Past Tips
Travel Tip #18
Travel Tip #17
Travel Tip #16
Travel Tip #15
Saturday, November 19, 2005
On Any Given Saturday
Today "H" had his soccer tournament. It was to have been last night, but thankfully it was re-scheduled for today.
The Strikers have been together for 4 seasons. Last season they didn't win a single game, this season they didn't lose a single one.
The tournament took place on a chilly windswept afternoon, the boys fought their way through 4 grueling 30 minute games. They tied 2 and won 2 and each took home 2 medals.
I've managed to post a bunch of pictures from the days festivities "LINK".
It looks a whole lot like this site, but when your trying to get something up it's easier to copy than to be original.
Now There's An Odd Job
Everyone knows of my general dislike of squirrels. I just don't see where they add any real value to, well anything.
"Flash005" over at "NGTO" posted this little gem on how to make a little extra spending money for the holidays.
It seems as though "Mepps Lure" has a program that pays up to 26 cents per tail (that would be a premium tail). For 1000 tails that's $260.00.
NOTE: Mepps is only interested in recycling tails taken from squirrels that have been harvested for the table. We do not advocate taking squirrels strictly for their tails.
I guess this is for the PETA folks, I wonder what the policy is on road kill squirrels?
See there is a use for squirrels, dead squirrels.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Sorry You Just Don't Fit In
Well, Martha's show is over and done. They should have Trump make a special appearance and tell Martha "I'm sorry you just don't fit in" hand her a nice Trumpesique note and then have the parting shot of her leaving in a cab. Now at least maybe Charles can light that cigar he waving around every episode.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
We Decided To Have A Frick’s World Caption Contest
- Rub the Buddha, Rub the Buddha
- The village women gathered to lay their hands on the soon to be over whelmed Mom
- If we push hard enough we can speed this whole process up
- Look its a Redneck Ultra-Sound
- Get that last plate she's still got some room left right here
- Womb with a view?
Leave No Stone Un-Turned
Those crazy iPod people what will they think of next. The last crazy iPod gadget I saw was the iDog now let me present to you to "iStone"
From the looks of it, probably not the most portable thing around. If it was from Sony it would called The I Can’t WalkMan.
I think of this as having a cinder block to hold my beer can.
At $2500.00 they’ll sell some, not a bunch, but some…..
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Damn Birds
Here's one for all of you animal rights folks. An International Event trying to break a world record and in flies one of those damn sparrows from Cap-I-Freaking-Strano bound and determined to wreak it. This birds life was thankfully ended by an on site exterminator (why he was at this event no one knows), now there's a guy I want on my team. Keep a close eye on this as I'm sure those "PETA" folks will be bitching about this poor bird, sorry wrong link, my bad.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
A Few Jokes
A. Jogging home from your Vasectomy.
Q. Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A. Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
Alabama Governor Calls For Aruba Boycott
MONTGOMERY, Alabama (AP) -- Gov. Bob Riley called for a nationwide travel boycott of Aruba on Tuesday on behalf of a missing Alabama teenager's family, who accuse the island's government of not fully cooperating with the investigation into her disappearance.
"LINK"
On one hand you have to give it to the Governor for making a stand. Making a stand with some good reason, as I'm sure that the Aruba authorities did not fully cooperate and I'm also sure that Natalee's parents are angry as any parent would be and feels this is a great idea.
But, (which means ignore what you just heard or read because here comes the truth)
These proposed boycotts just don't work. How many e-mails have we all received proposing a 1 day boycott of gas stations. If no one buys gas for only one day this will send ripples of fear through the oil cartels bottom line all across the planet. Bull, those cats are sitting on enough oil and cash (great combination) to outlast any boycott that we could throw at them. Second your dealing with a mass of people that find it hard to get together and remember to vote on the first Tuesday in November every couple of years. There's just no way that all of us could band together and not buy gas on a single proposed day.
Look I wouldn't let "Goose" go to Aruba for all the tea in China. That's a husband/wife decision not one that needs to be prompted by the government. So Frick's World is indeed having it's own Auruba Boycott 2005, do whatever you want.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
60,000 Miles
The 2003 Sebring rolled 60,000 miles this afternoon, it's time for a new sled.
I took this picture right after I met Officer Dwight of the North Carolina Highway Welcome Wagon Patrol. Officer Dwight and myself met at North Carolina mile marker #2. Not only did Officer Dwight want to welcome me to his fair state he also wanted to inform me that I was traveling a little (very little) above the posted speed as I was coming around the bend over the hill stuck behind a giant tractor trailor.
The Days Of Old
Saw this sign off Atlanta Highway this afternoon. No gas station in sight just this old sign with old pricing Unleaded .99 Super Unleaded .59 Diesel 1.46 Odd pricing, probably would be effective if there was a gas station attached.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Deal Of The Week
I stopped by the Office Depot and found this beauty on the clearance table.
For the low very low price of $5.00 I bought a genuine "CD/DVD data destroyer". It destroys up to 15 CD/DVD's per minute, cool. I grabbed a whole bunch of those 2000 free hours of "AOL" CD's on the way out of Office Depot. I plan to put this baby through its paces.
With my limited understanding of compliance standards and retention schedules I believe that I can now put in writing that the official "Fricks World" policy will be to destroy all "WORM" media immediately just so I can use this damn thing.
A Little Bathroom Humor
During idle chit chat with some of "The Relatives" over the weekend our talk turned to men'’s public bathrooms then the conversation took a turn towards men'’s public bathroom rules.
Now being a male and a public male at that it's my duty to inform, transfer knowledge, share (or whatever you want to label it) some of my men'’s public bathroom rules.
1 Personal Space
Never ever use a urinal next to one that is occupied, that'’s why there are stalls. The exception to this rule is if there are dividers between the urinals.
2 No talking
This is not the place to ask about the game or how the weekend was.
3 Hygiene
Even if you don'’t do it at home at least pretend to wash your hands before you exit the bathroom.
4 No touching
No, not even a high five
Someone might confuse touching with your sexual orientation and besides you'’re not sure if the other person has even heard of Rule 3.
5. No Cell Phone Usage
Refer to Rule 2 and besides that one of the guys at our office managed to flush his cell phone on a recent visit.
Those are the basic ground rules, here are some general tips
If you must use a stall never use your hands to flush, this is a men'’s bathroom not an operating room. Use your foot to flush and pray that your other foot doesn't slip in some tinkle that has mysteriously made its way to the floor.
Don'’t spend a bunch of time in front of the mirror. A quick check of your Windsor knot and that'’s it. You may think you'’re a Metro-Sexual but we don'’t and we really don'’t care.
Courtesy flush if you don'’t know what it is then "Google" it.
When at the urinal look straight ahead. Stare at the pretty grout, look for cool patterns in the marble do whatever but don'’t look right or left. You can look straight down, if you must.
If your in a stall and someone enters the bathroom cough or shuffle your feet just do something that makes some noise and let the new arrival of your presence. This could save an embarrassing moment or two.
Here's a bathroom etiquette test you can take "LINK"
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Continuing With Our Super Glue Theme
"Man Sues After Using Glue-Covered Toilet"
Thu Nov 3,12:32 PM ET
BOULDER, Colo. - Home Depot was sued by a shopper who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue.
Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for about 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding.
"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot." (you have to be real desperate to use a Home Depot restroom)
The lawsuit, filed Friday, said Dougherty was recovering from heart bypass surgery and thought he was having a heart attack (or an ass attack) when he got stuck at the Louisville store on the day before Halloween 2003. A store employee who heard him calling for help informed the head clerk by radio, but the head clerk "believed it to be a hoax," the lawsuit said.
Home Depot spokeswoman Kathryn Gallagher said she could not comment on pending litigation.
(Refusing to comment on "pending litigation" has saved many from having to make up some kind of BS to cover up their or their employees incompetence.)
The lawsuit said store officials called for an ambulance after about 15 minutes. Paramedics unbolted the toilet seat, (well they were at a Home Depot and had plenty of tools on hand) and as they wheeled the "frightened and humiliated" Dougherty out of the store, he passed out. (and hit his head on the toilet)
The lawsuit said the toilet seat separated from his skin, leaving abrasions. (your Honor I present to you and the court Exhibit A)
"This is not Home Depot's fault," (so then why are you suing them? Oh yeah that's right they have mad cash)he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang (you weren't really hanging now were you?) in there and just ignoring me."
Friday, November 04, 2005
If Love Hurts This Much Your Doing It Wrong
Posted on Thu, Nov. 03, 2005
"Man sues ex over Super Glue attack"
The Associated Press
GREENSBURG -- He says she was so stuck on him that she stuck him together.
For that, a Pittsburgh man's ex-girlfriend should pay him more than $30,000 in damages, his attorney said.
That's the case Kenneth Slaby's (great name) attorney presented to a Westmoreland County jury on Wednesday, the first day of Slaby's civil suit against Gail O'Toole (an even better name)of Murrysville.
Slaby's lawsuit says that after dating for 10 months in 1999 they broke up and Slaby began dating another woman.
When that relationship ended, O'Toole invited Slaby over to her home (for a booty call?) on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep (this will prove to be Slaby's downfall). He woke up to find that O'Toole had Super Glued his genitals to his abdomen (ouch), glued his behind together (ouch, but funny) and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish (damn, just damn).
Slaby said O'Toole told him it was payback for their breakup, and he had to walk a mile (more like waddled) to a gas station to call for help. He pressed charges and O'Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and served six months probation.
O'Toole's attorney, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act (I doubt that) , Slaby wasn't permanently damaged (permanently,no but mentally damaged, yes), and "This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom." (well then instead of gluing his butt together she should have glued it to the bed)
OK, now no matter what kind of freaky, freak games you might play in the bedroom when someone breaks out the super glue things are not going to turn out well. I've used super glue for a few things around the house and every time I usually glue my fingers to what ever I was trying to repair.
Poor Slaby, once help finally arrived they more than likely said "Someone wrote in nail polish on this poor chaps back" then they see his genitals glued to his abdomen. Now once the gentlemen on the scene quit wincing they probably say something like "Dude that sucks, that chick crazys" then when they find out his butt is glued shut they fall to the ground laughing.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Where There’s A Will, I Want To Be In It
In conversations with people when I speak of “My Attorney” as in “My attorney will be in touch” or “My attorney has advised me” I am in actually speaking of the guy that helped us with our wills 10 years ago. This cat couldn’t pick me out in a room full of felons. However uttering those two words “My Attorney” in general conversation makes me feel grown up and just full of responsibility.
OK, so the other night I decide to review my will.
That great piece of legal tender that dictates who gets all my stuff when I’m gone.
Of course my stuff will only get distributed after probate and being contested by my distant and somewhat removed relatives.
As I’m reviewing this document it begins to dawn on me that after 20 years of trying to act like a grown-up all I have that’s worth anything is an electric sandwich maker and my Goo Goo Dolls concert DVD. So I’m sitting, reviewing, sitting, thinking, reviewing, and sitting this endless cycle replays over and over again and again. Finally I put pen to paper and begin writing, scribbling across my legal pad like a man on a mission. Then suddenly I realize that my will has become a suicide note.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Don't Worry Honey I'll Fix Dinner This Evening
MRE's Meals Ready To Eat may now be re-labled Meals Ready For ebay "Link"
Word on the street Huggy Bear may be that recipients of these FREE meals maybe re-selling them on ebay at a profit. I guess that's all right so long as they reimburse the government (US) for the cost of the MRE's, which I'm sure they will promptly do.
Lets just what ebay has for sale this evening "LINK"