Friday, December 30, 2005

Not Photo-Shopped (I Promise)

"The Wife" can back me that this was not digitally altered. We took this picture on the way to the mall.
The way I see it is there are 2 ways to tie a ladder onto the roof of your van. The first way (and I would imagine the prefered way) would be to tie the ladder on in the same direction that the van is traveling. The second way (and I would imagine the least perfered way) would be to strap the ladder long way across the van. I don't really know for sure because I don't actually own a van.
I hope this cat doesn't have to go through any toll booths between here and where-ever the hell he's going.....

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Mid-Week At Fricks World

"NF" has requested some of my bandwidth to post a shout-out to his Mom and Dad
Dear Mom & Dad
Thanks for letting me spend a few days at Fricks World. Things are really cool around here. As a matter of fact this morning we got to zoom around ridding the city of evil doers. These blue tights are a little bit binding.
After we were done with that I started to get hungry. Mr Fricks World took me for wings, for some reason Mrs. Fricks World said she wasn't very hungry. Too bad cause the food was really good and I mean really good.
After our lunch settled we set out to have some real fun. I think I have found my true calling, and all this time you guys thought I was a clown. I guess I proved you guys wrong.
All fun and no work makes Jack a dull boy is what Mr. Fricks World always says. That must be why he found a few odd jobs for me to do while I am here. I really think it's because he's afraid of heights. Well that and he doesn't have to pay me anything.
After all that work I was once again really hungry. Mrs Fricks World wouldn't let us go get wings again, I don't know why. She fixed me a burger but for some reason didn't fix Mr Fricks World anything, maybe she's mad at him.
I am getting to camp out in this big old room. They even let me jump on the bed and no one yelled at me.
I even got to stay up a little bit later than usual. But don't worry Mom and Dad it wasn't that late as you can see by what Mr Fricks World wrote on my diaper.
Thanks again for letting me stay here. I heard that you might be bringing me home a new baby brother, that would be cool, just so long as he's not too big.

Love "NF"

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Better Than Google Earth

Having fun with Window Live Local "LINK"
Check out the permalink and the driving directions.
I also like the bird's eye feature.

Will it/is it able to intigrate with Microsoft's Streets & Trips? or some other mapping software.
Will it/is it able to export a location file that I can import into an iPaq or GPS.

Monday, December 26, 2005

On The First Day Of Vacation

Last week "DL" left a "Garmin eMap " on my desk. He had heard me talking about wanting to take the family "Geocaching" and thought it best for me to try out his GPS before dropping cash on something that the family might use to beat me over the head with. "DL" is always looking out for others.
We programmed the unit with a couple of close by waypoints and set out. Both of the cache's were at the park where "H" plays soccer. The first one was hidden under a pile of rocks and contained all kinds of cool stuff focused around a cat theme. "H" took a Pikachu action figure and left in its place a key chain.
The second cache was located in a hole and was a little more on the soggy and moldy side of things than the first find. "The Wife" and "Goose" did an good job of busting through the woods on our electronic treasure hunt, no complaining from either one of them.
Not a bad way to spend a few hours on a windy wintery morning.....

A Little Breakfast

We woke up this morning and started putting to use our new kitchen gadgets. First up was the waffle maker (It was just like staying at a Marriott property). 10 Belgium waffles (I read the directions wrong) for the four of us drenched in warm syrup and topped with cool-whip.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Peace On Earth, Good Will Towards the Un-Armed

Christmas 2005 is winding down. We had lots of food, lots of family and lots of gifts.
One of the families favorite gifts was the "Nerf Dart Tag" and cat harassment sniper set that "H" received. Santa was bright enough to include an extra 50 velcro darts which added to longer missions. I (make that we) did discover that velcro darts doesn't stick to cat fur.

We also learned that "H" looks amazingly like a porcupine after each mission. For as small as he is you would think he would be a lot quicker. Somehow he managed to get shot a whole lot. Even "The Wife" managed to rip off a few rounds at her only son.

As "H" was leaving he was heard to mutter "I'll Be Back"

Friday, December 23, 2005

Alternative Medicine?

Even wonder why you Indian neighbor's yard is over grown with weed? It could be that they are using the weed killer to treat cancer patients. "LINK" Maybe you never know.......

Just a few blurbs from the article:

The clinic's Web site says it provides "safe and effective, nontoxic, scientifically based alternative methods that can cure or control most cancer and other chronic disease."
If you wind up dead from the weed killer does that count as curing cancer?

Shanthaveerappa and Bartoli did not immediately return telephone calls Tuesday night.
Well maybe they were at Home Depot or Lowes restocking the medicine cabinet.

Here's the next big medical breakthrough since "Drain-O" cleans out clogged pipes maybe it will work on clogged arteries.

Next time I'm at the local garden center I can have someone look at this mole on my neck.

Sure Hope She Had Insurance On That Phone

Girlfriend Gets Phone Stuck In Throat During Argument
POSTED: 11:23 am EST December 23, 2005
UPDATED: 3:22 pm EST December 23, 2005

BLUE SPRINGS, Mo. -- A Missouri woman was hospitalized when a cell phone got stuck in her throat, police said.Officers called to the scene at about 5 a.m. Friday found the 24-year-old woman having trouble breathing.Investigators said that the woman was arguing with her boyfriend and when he asked for the phone, she reportedly tried to swallow it. A family member said that the woman is expected to recover. "LINK"

When asked for a comment the Missouri woman replied "Murff MMMMM Mrfuuuu MMM"

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Is It A Hoax?

Is this Chappelle's idea of a hoax? "LINK" . It's good reading either way and I just love conspiracy theories. via "Dvorak"

Sometimes I'm Wrong

With it being the Christmas season folks around the office start bringing in all kinds treats. "CB" showed up yesterday with a dozen Mason jars full of makings for genuine "Rocky Road Brownies". The jars reminded everyone of sand art (Picture on the left) the kind that you make yourself at the county fair. Well it reminded everyone except me that is, I took one look at it a yelled "Hey, who gave me a Christmas snow globe" and began shaking (Picture on the right). About that time "CB" fires off with something along the lines of "Hey dude, what are you doing, that's a piece of art, edible art, but art none the less" but by then my ADHD kicked in and I went to ride a bike.

Monday, December 19, 2005

I'm A Quitter

Today as I write this I have been tobacco & nicotine free for 100 days. The first 100 days in the last 13 years. The first few weeks were the worst and I was for the most part a giant pain in the ass, but somehow friends and family lived through it.
I did not tell anyone of my "Quit" for the first month or so for fear of hearing people say "We are so proud of you" or "Blah, Blah, Blah" (add your favorite Dr Phil line there) and that would just fuel my anger and frustration. I'm past that point and angered and frustrated about other things now.
One thing that helped me out was the site "QuitSmokeless". I spent a lot of time lurking around their message board before actually signing up and posting anything. Was I afraid of putting a commitment down in writing, maybe, maybe not, but the site did help. If your looking to quit you might want to check them out, They'll welcome you and help you as you start and continue your journey. The decision to stop is yours and yours alone, no one is going to force you to quit just like no one forced you to start.
A very similar board to that of "NGTO", everyone is there for a reason, something that's important to them. It might be a something that no one else understands, but we have a place to talk about it, fight about & brag about it.
It's a community, a community filled with people that share the same passion and desire, that help and support each other through the easy times and the rough times.
So here's to the next 100 days and the 100 after that....

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Here Is Why I Hate Kids Meals

This afternoon I need something out the family room cabinet. I was almost crushed to death, damn near death, by all the crap that came tumbling out said cabinet. So being an adult I decided to clean out the cabinet, like I always say "Don't be part of the problem, be part of the solution".
An hour later I had a garbage bag full of "Kids Meal" toys, those damn half dollar toys that the kids drag home after every meal at Wendys, MsDonalds, Burger King or Sonic. The same toys that they play with for 20 minutes and then throw into the family room cabinet. I threw out no less than 10 different movie promo toys, 4 watches that no longer worked & 3 Star Wars dolls, no wait they are Star Wars action figures.

We Cleaned The Fish Bowl This Afternoon

Add your own caption

Saturday, December 17, 2005

I Think I'm Done

I Think I'm Done. With Christmas shopping that is. The kids and I finished up the last bit for "The Wife"/"The MOM" this morning.

I was listening to Mark's "TravelCommons" Podcast on my flight back from Memphis this week. He was talking about having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit and you what I'm with him on it. I'm been in at least 4 airports in the last 2 weeks and not a single one of them had any Christmas decorations up. The "Holiday Inn" in Jackson, TN I stayed at was sporting a huge Christmas tree in their atrium, but that didn't seem to help. It's also the first year that Santa Clause won't actually be coming down the chimney to deliver gifts since the kids are getting older, so maybe that's playing into as well. Of course it could just be that seasonal depression, I wonder if there's a pill for that..................

Hey Crackhead

Heard about this posting at 'CRAIGSLIST" on "TWIT" . It's funny, don't know if it'd read it at work, but it's funny. "LINK"

Timing Is Everything

Several of us from the office just happened to be in town last week so we decided to eat at the "Love You Long Time Chinese Buffet". This is one of the few Chinese Buffets that serve Pizza. As we were presented with the bill I let out with my usual "I had just the water" to our waiter and his snappy reply was to throw me a fortune cookie. I opened my cookie and there was my fortune "The current year will bring you much happiness". The current year, great timing two weeks left in the year and there's my fortune.
Oh yeah I'm sure you know that when you read your fortune you're supposed to add "in bed" at the end of it. Like I said I got this with 2 weeks left in the year.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Another Reason Not To Jump Out Of A Perfectly Good Airplane

Pregnant skydiver survives plunge. It's not that skydiving can kill you it's the landing. Check out the video "LINK"

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Happy Birthday To "H"

Well contrary to "H's" belief he did not die because he was forced to wait till 4:00pm for his Birthday party. We loaded up the locals and headed out to play lazer tag at "QZar"
"H" managed to land a Game Cube, so now he can no longer claim to be the only kid in the world, no make that the whole world without a Game Cube. He also received several "Nerf Guns". They weren't un-wrapped 2 minutes before someone started firing darts at the cats.
After lazer tag the boys headed over to the arcade and took turns on the machines of dreams and chance. "H" traded in his tickets for a switchblade comb, the chances of it ever making contact with a piece of hair is none and less than none. I can't figure out why an 11 year old needs hand cuffs, but apparently they do.
The excitement level kicked back up as they headed in for their last game of lazer tag.
And here is "Goose" sucking up, as usual to "The Wife"

Shot On Goal

As I noted earlier we got to listen to "H" and his school's chorus sing the other night at the "Gladiators" game. First time any of us had been to an actual hockey game. Very similar to the antics of a minor league baseball game. We played the Trenton Titans and won 5-2. Click pictures for the biggie sizeSanta arrived and rode across the ice atop a Hummer.

In between periods we played "Chuck A Puck". We tossed hundreds of foam pucks from the stands and if your puck landed in the target you won a $500.00 shopping spree.
Dude is sporting an official "Chuck A Puck" helmet above.
Lots of action on the boards
And of course my dream job, being a "Zamboni" driver

New Toys

New phone (LG VX-8100) and Jabra bluetooth set up

Why Me Why Me

It seems that I/we are a giant magnet for all the misfit, freaks and troubled souls across the land. If I'm on a plane I get stuck sitting next to the guy that twitches the whole flight or he's the one who has to get up and go to the bathroom 4 times during an hour flight. Last night "H" and his class got to sing at the "Gladiator's" hockey game (pictures to follow). We landed some decent seats. Early in the second period we begin hearing someone yell at the opposing goalie "Trayln, you suck" over and over louder and louder. Finally I am at the point of being intrigued enough to turn around and see where all this noise is emanating from, and to my surprise it's coming out of the grill of a 12 year old. A 12 year old whose parents were no where to be found. I'm sure in a few years I'll be sitting next to this little wonder on a plane and by that time I'll probably be the one twitching.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Video Clip Of The Week

Thanks to "ReeRee" via "UD" for this weeks funny

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Ornament or "Pornament"?

I'm hanging around this morning when "CB" comes bounding in with his contribution to the annual Christmas (that's right it's Christmas not holiday) spirit. It's was a sad sack of a tree, decorated with a lone ornament. "Hey "CB" what gives with the single ornament?" I utter. CB bounces back "Ornament? " "What ornament?" "That's not an ornament, that my bald friend is a PORNAMENT."
We are under the belief that someone at the ornament design company made a prototype as a joke and somehow it made it to the production line, overseas and down the street to the local holiday discount store, but that's just our belief.......

por·na·ment (po´rn-mnt) n.
Something that decorates or adorns; an embellishment visable to the naked eye
2. Any adornament that makes me laugh
3. Something made in Taiwan of a sexual nature that Americans unwillingly purchase


Sunday, December 04, 2005

Razor vs. Razor Blades

or is "Sun" going down the wrong path?
Here's the free "Razor". Sounds like an ill fated HP type campaign, "give 'em the damn printer and then charge 'em real good for the ink"
Matter of fact I just hung up the phone with my Dad, who is going to buy a new Canon photo printer for $79.00 after rebates (just love those mail-in rebates) instead of buying replacement ink cartridges for his HP because the new printer is cheaper than the replacement ink.
I'm sure Sun has thought this through and I guess they figure they can generate enough revenue from the maintenance agreements and additional hardware sales to make this all workout for them.

What Has 128 Beige Legs & 2 Black Legs?

It's the Gwin Oaks Chorus, 64 singers in beige pants and 1 in black pants. One guess as to who the 1 black panted singer was, yeah, your right "H". Unfortunately we can't blame him because the attendance sheet clearly states "Chorus shirt and beige pants". Oh well, we just had him meet us at the car so no one knew that we were the parents who either couldn't read or follow directions.
And why after attending 9 years of school sponsored events can I never get a seat in the front row or even close to the front row. These parents must show up 2 hours early for some of these events.
Oh yeah I almost forgot I got to sit behind Little Hunter. 4 years old and a perfect candidate for ADHA or ADD or what ever they are calling it this week. The above picture was the only one with out Little Hunter's melon in it. This boy was up and then down, smiling then crying, quite then talking, so what do the parent do? Buy him some cotton candy, way to go Mom and Dad.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The House Is Decorated

We spent the better part of the week decorating.
No, not really 10 wreaths, 1 hour, no beer, no problem.

Click the link below to see someone who did a little more than we did.
Night Time
I can't tell you if it's legit or not, but it's still pretty cool.
Have your speakers turned on.
The name of the song is "Wizards Of Winter"

If my little bit of bandwidth doesn't hold up click on of the links below.