Monday, September 29, 2008
BLACKBERRY JAM - A people traffic jam that occurrs in subway tunnels and bus stations. Caused by inconsiderate workaholics walking too slow while their noses are glued to their Blackberry device.
I was late for work because there was a Blackberry Jam getting out of the A train.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
According to the lawsuit, Philip Seaton, 61, went to have a circumcision last Octoberas part of treatment for a medical condition. Seaton said when he woke up from the procedure, he realized his penis had been amputated.
Seaton has suffered mental anguish, pain, and has lost the enjoyment of life, according to the lawsuit.
The lawsuit was filed in Shelby County court last week against Dr. John Patterson, who performed the procedure, Dr. Oliver James, who administered anesthesia, and Commonwealth Urology, PSC.
"Read The Rest"
"Doctor I can't feel my penis" - "That's cause we amputated your hands"
What do you call the person that graduated last in their medical class? "Doctor"
Dear God how much money could possibly ease this mans pain? I have no idea but I can "George Zimmer" guarantee that it's going to contain a whole bunch of zeros.
Now I'm sure that Dr. Ginsu Knife did what he felt was in the best interest of his patient and since Dr. Ginsu Knife is also a male I'm sure this was not a snap decision, but general male to male courtesy does require full and complete consciousness by both parties before any penis cutting begins.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
George Michael Arrested Over Drugs
George Michael was arrested in public toilets suspected of possessing drugs.
Reports say the multi-millionaire singer was arrested after a tip-off from a suspicious toilet attendant after he was seen loitering in underground loos in London's Hampstead Heath on Friday.
When officers arrived Michael was still in the toilet and police reportedly found him in possession of cannabis and crack cocaine.
In a candid interview for BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs last year, Michael talked openly about his drug use.
He said: "I'm a happy man and I can afford my marijuana so that's not a problem."
A spokesman for the Met Police said: "I can confirm that a 45-year-old man was arrested on September 19 on suspicion of possession of drugs in the Hampstead Heath area.
"He was taken to a north London police station where he received a caution for possession of class A and class C drugs."
At his last concert at Earls Court in London last month he announced to journalists that there would be no more stadium tours.
Michael's tour began in Barcelona in September 2006 and he has entertained more than 1.3 million fans across Europe and North America.
The 21-date American leg of the tour was the first time he has performed there for 17 years and included New York, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago and Washington.
What inspires famous folks to get a pocketful of drugs and head out and into public? Most "Hollywood" types, except for Gary Coleman, MC Hammer, & Ed McMahon manage to somehow manage to live in a more than adequate crib. Why not just stay in their crib and waste away on their steady diet of drugs and take-out food.
George hasn't had a new album in the last several years but still manages to keep his face in front of us, unfortunately it's usually in the form of a mugshot.
'The rest of the tips"
A few time a year I get lucky enough to stay in what you would call one of the "Better" hotels. They're usually are stocked with a better grade of toiletries, real glasses, a cordless phone and if it's a really nice hotel you get an in room safe.
Now I don't have anything that I would deem worthy of locking in a safe, but being a nerd I'm intrigued with anything that has a keypad and an LED display. Meaning it requires further investigation.
Last week I checked into one of these "Better" hotels (how can they come up with a $700.00 per night rack rate) and there's my safe. Except instead of being bolted to the floor in the closet this one's stuck in the TV hutch.
After about .5 of a second I had said safe out of the hutch on the bed and ready to throw in my suitcase and head out the door. The bottom side of the safe looked like it could be torn open with a screwdriver or a cinder block which ever would be the handiest.
Note to the hotel staff - use something stronger than double sided tape to make sure your safe is safe.
This could quite possibly be one of the most complete foods you could ever consume. Get almost half a weeks allotment of saturated fat in one frosty beverage. Be done with your carb loading before lunch and with 266 grams of sugar you should be awake for hours and on top of it all you still manage to get 35 grams of protein.
Would you rather drink one of these or eat a bland grilled chicken breast? Yeah me too.
Serving Size 1 Serving (32 fl.oz)
|Amount Per Serving|
|Calories 2310||Calories from Fat 970|
|% Daily Value*|
|Total Fat 108g||166%|
|Saturated Fat 64g||320%|
|Trans Fat 2.5g|
|Total Carbohydrates 303g||101%|
|Dietary Fiber 2g||8%|
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Monday, September 08, 2008
Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...
You scored 93% Beginner, 86% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 73% Expert!
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!
Sunday, September 07, 2008
(CNN) -- A JetBlue flight from Boston, Massachusetts, to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, was diverted Saturday when a fight broke out after someone was smoking in the bathroom, federal officials said.
One passenger aboard JetBlue Flight 455 was taken into custody at Raleigh-Durham International Airport in North Carolina after the plane landed about 5:45 p.m.
A federal Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman said one person was injured in the face by what may have been a punch. She said the fight involved three people who are thought to be related.
According to the airline, there were 88 people and four crew members aboard the jet. The flight had been scheduled to leave Boston at 1 p.m. but did not take off until 3:11 p.m., spokeswoman Alison Eshelman said.
Eyewitnesses said the scuffle was between two brothers, one of whom was angry that his brother had smoked on a plane.
One passenger interviewed by CNN affiliate WFOR said the fight left one of the men bloody.
"I saw the guy holding his head with the blood coming out," Mike Rocha said.The jet was held at the North Carolina airport for about two hours while FBI investigators interviewed passengers. "LINK"
Lets see if we can figure this one out, you've got a plane, that for whatever reason is over 2 hours late taking off and I would imagine that the flight attendants started rolling the beverage cart up and down the isle. It wouldn't surprise me if the fabulous Baker Boys partook in some adult beverages. Then as we all know with drinking at some point you gotta go to the bathroom and what better time for a smoke then while you are in the bathroom. A jolly good time till your brother starts banging his fists off of your melon.
I bet Mom is proud of her little darlings.
I wonder if they still allowed smoking on planes if this would've happened?
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
You can check your flight status using Google just enter the airlines name, space, and your flight number "Delta 861"
Check out the other tips "LINK"