Thursday, March 31, 2005
As everyone knows "The Wife" takes excellent care of me, she can always tell me where I left my car keys, where my collar stays are and where my cell phone holster is.
One thing that she is always concerned about that I have an umbrella in my car, sometime 3 or 4 umbrellas. In the 18+ years that we have been married I can count the number of times on one hand that I have used these umbrellas, never the less they are always in the trunk.
A co-worker and I took an early morning drive to Greenville SC today and of course it poured the whole way. We arrived at our destination to find a flooded parking lot and along dash between the rain drops to the front door. I open the trunk to get our computer bags and behold what do I see but my umbrellas. I gave the nice big golf version to my co-worker and I grab the smaller compact travel size (Hey, my heads smaller and I don't have any hair). We opened these suckers up and headed for the building, as we approached I saw the people we were meeting beginning to smile, as we got closer I noticed that they were all laughing. I did the normal guy thing and looked down and it was all cool, my zipper was zipped. We reached the door and as I was closing my umbrella I noticed what all the humor was about. My umbrella was covered with pictures of "Clifford The Big Red Dog". "The Wife" had sabotaged me, apparently this is one of those umbrellas your 3rd grader gets for selling $1200.00 worth of book fair books.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Found on the main drag outside of Frick's World. I guess this was the reason not all the kids in the neighborhood got baskets on Easter morning.
A caramel filled chocolate cross offered by Russell Stover's Pangburn Chocolate Company is seen in the foreground with solid white and milk chocolate crosses made by Palmer Company. With the introduction of its product, Russell Stover has joined the ranks of many smaller candy companies selling chocolate crosses this Easter season. LINK
What's next communion wafers?
Here's an Easter egg hunt that I want in on.
Family mistakenly donates Grandma's secret nest eggs
Mar. 28, 2005 12:00 AM MANITOWOC, Wis. -
The Salvation Army was on an unusual Easter egg hunt this weekend, desperately searching for the person who bought toys that a family mistakenly donated before realizing a deceased grandmother had stuffed them full of cash. LINK
We love the holidays at Frick's World
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Easter as with all holidays at Frick's World centers around food. Planning the meals, buying the raw goods (just like on the prairie), preparing the meal and then finally cleaning up the mess. That's all fine and good, we enjoy cooking and eating.
This afternoon "The Wife" baked a 3 layer carrot cake. I walked into the kitchen just in time to see her applying the frosting. I say applying because she had 2 cans of frosting and what looked like a brick layers trowel, this was a major frosting under-taking.
I picked up one of the cans of frosting, and being the health conscious 40 years old that I am, read the calorie count; 1540 calories per can. OK the frosting totals 3080 calories, well being obsessive compulsive as I am, I rummage in the trash for the cake mix box.
The cake totals 3240 calories. Being the math wiz that I am I add all this together and come up with the total calories for the cake 6320. That's like a 1000 extra miles on the treadmill.
Right now I am filing a motion to throw dinner out and eat just the cake. After all I am the adult (sort of), this is my house and I make the rules. Opps sorry WE make the rules.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Frick's World watched Napoleon Dynamite this evening I was howling "The Wife" was not nearly as amused. This lead to a discussion of my favorite 5 movies that she had to endure and would rather not sit through again.
2. Dumb and Dumber
3. Varsity Blues
4. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
5. Napoleon Dynamite
Now some would say the Caddyshack should be included but Napoleon Dynamite has edged it out, at least for me. She still would not want to sit through Caddyshack again.
Our God-son was over for a while today and the young lad has started walking. It appears that Mom & Dad have bought him bowling shoes to wear around or maybe these shoes signify his age, I hope it's not the latter because when your in 9th grade having "15" on the back of your shoes is not cool.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Sunday, March 20, 2005
"The Wife" picked up a shuffle over the weekend. Not a bad looking device, I see (just like everyone else has said) what it lacks: no display and you can't use your play lists. but of course since it's MAC design, it's sleek & stylish. This may up the antie for the other members of the G.S.M.A. I guess I'll get her an iPed for her birthday.
Now she's wanting to use my free Pepsi i-Tunes.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
We have spent the last 3 Saturday & Sundays at the soccer fields.
The teams is doing so so. The focus of this post is not the teams performance but a movement I'm seeing, it's a quiet underground kind of movement, one that involves the "Soccer Moms". I believe the "Soccer Moms" have formed their own association the G.S.M.A.
To be in the G.S.M.A. the are a few prerequisites
1) You must wear warm-up style pants and they must have a stripe down the side.
No matter what you weigh you must wear this style of pants. I saw one Soccer Mom walking off the field and from the rear it looked like two pigs fighting in a pillow case.
2) You must have one of those fold up style camp chairs.
Soccer Moms very rarely carry their own chair from the car to the field, that's what their kids are for.
3) You must have one of those magnetic soccer ball affixed to your vehicle. Said vehicle must be a van or SUV.
4) (optional) Soccer Moms must be on the side lines with a cup of coffee. This can not be a coffee mug from home, the side of the cup must have Starbucks, Caribou or QT imprinted on the side.
5) (optional but closer to a requirement) Tortoise shell sunglasses.
Looking down the side lines I feel like I am watching the Stepford Wives in action.
First co-worker "No she taught me not to pee on my hands"
Which one of these cats would you want to share a basket of nachos and salsa with?
Thursday, March 17, 2005
In the case of this person, it takes (3) phones
(1) your new cell phone
(2) another cell phone to call the carriers tech support monkey with
(3) and yet another phone to call your new cell with as the tech support monkey leads you through the technical hoops of setting up your voice mail.
Maybe they should scale back their advertising budget and direct those funds towards their infrastructure
Things have changed a bit since I was in High School 23 years ago. When I went to High School you got a High School diploma, that was it, a diploma. Now you have to decide what type of diploma either a college prep diploma or a technical diploma. If you take the technical diploma path (which has way cooler courses) you can still go to college after 2 years at a junior college.
Well the Frick's World posse has been looking through "The Choice Book" which is the catalog of available courses for these young minds. Here is the link.
Under the technical section I found this course "Responsible Parenting"
Responsible Parenting - 1 Semester - Grades 10-12
Prerequisite - None
This course will include the study of the stages of growth and development from the prenatal stage through the first year of life, child health and safety, discipline, and the selection of child care facilities. Also included are parenthood responsibilities, human sexuality, pregnancy, prenatal care, and special needs children.
The online version leaves off the last sentence.
I wonder if the prerequisite should state "unwed teenage mother".
Think about it if your child was to take this course in 1oth grade they could graduate with a technical diploma and a 2 year old.
They will teach your little one how to choose a child care facility, just think after they teach your little one all about child health and safety, discipline they can drop their baby (your Grand Baby) off at the local child care facility. Hope the employee's at the child care facility took this course.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
It has been a sad evening.
I sold my 1994 Ford Ranger, 11 years to the day of when I bought it. I haven't driven it much in the last few years due to the fact that I have a company car, I guess now the golden hand cuffs are one notch tighter.
She was a great truck, 106,000 miles on it during its 11 year life, only left me stranded once with a blown freeze plug.
She didn't seem to mind not being driven much, always seemed to start after sitting idle for a few months.
Cleaning her out was like looking through an old photo album; business cards from my old job, hat pin from my trip to Scotland, trout hat pin that a friends niece made me, fuzzbuster that "The Wife" gave me in 1987, cassette tapes (remember those?),
and a necktie circa 1996 (maybe I'll wear it to the office in the morning).
I almost shed a tear as I watched her tail-lights disappear down the street.
I wonder how many bail of straw you can fit in a Sebring?
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Jim got me thinking about stuff on my desk.
These are the 5 things I have to have
Of course the "ThinkPad"
Magnetic Poetry, everyone rolls their about this, while they are arranging words to form some kind of obscene phrase.
Phone, my cell which I use constantly use and my brand new NEC phone which I have no idea how to do anything with. The voice mail light has been blinking for 3 days straight.
Stereo, Bob and Tom in the morning and tunes the rest of the day
Desk Reference Set Of Books, I never use these, the pages may even be blank, but they make me look very intelligent.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Silent All These Years, Classic Amos, I'm sure the song has some deep meaning but I like it anyway.
"Your Life Is Now" Enough said
"Give A Little Bit" Remake of the Supertramp hit. Liked the song so much I went out a bought the whole album.
"White Houses" She has a long career ahead of her plus she's cute.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
1. IBM Think Pad
2. Swiss Army Bag
3. Accessory Bag. (network & USB cables, phone charger, laptop charger & CF Cards)
4. Card from "The Wife"
5. Kodak Gray Scale
6. Digital Camera & Tripod
7. Travel Wallet
8. Zip Lock Bag ( holds extra collar stays, paper clips & rubber bands)
9. Snuff (for medicinal purposes)
10. USB Drive for Virtual PC with Windows 2000
11. USB Drive with MP3's and Videos
12. iLo MP3 Player
13. Altoids (a must have)
14. Moleskin Book
15. Software HASP Key
18. Wireless Presentation Mouse
19. Highlighter & USB pens
Friday, March 11, 2005
T.I.B. (This I Believe)
Idea Stolen from Tom Peters
12 Things I Believe About Business Travel
1. The person checking into the hotel in front of you will have some kind of issue; no one is sure what the issue is but there is an issue. This will cause your check in to be delayed at least 10 minutes.
2. If you get lucky enough to get booked on an earlier flight into Atlanta, this earlier flight will be get delayed and end up departing 30 minutes before you original flight time. (I’m blogging this as I wait for my earlier flight that has now been delayed for an hour and a half)
3. When you go to refuel you rental car the gas cap is always on the side of the car away from the fuel pump. (I always forget to look at the dash for the fuel door indicator)
4. The person going through airport security in front of you will always forget to remove something metal from their pockets, set off the buzzer and have to get rescanned.
5. Hilton Honors will never give you a room upgrade, even if you ask plead and stomp your feet.
6. There will always be someone in Zone 5 try to board the plane while they are still boarding Zone 2.
7. If there is something that you plan to watch on HBO while on the road your hotel will have Showtime and not HBO.
8. The person in the room next to you will always slam their room’s door and it seems that it is always at (fire alarms also have a tendency to go off in the middle of the night as well).
9. In trying to save the company money you look at the posted “Delta Deals” and the deals will always be for a city that you’re not traveling to or near or even in the same hemisphere.
10. If it is raining, snowing or 30 degrees out and you have decided that this is the week that you are going to get back in shape, the hotels treadmill will have an “Out Of Order” sign on it.
11. No matter what day of the week or time of day you are flying, Delta will always announce “This is a full flight”.
12. People that travel for their job become jaded, opinionated and realize that that world does not revolve around them, but we still like to think it does.And has anyone ever seen someone use one of the air-phones that are mounted on the back side of the middle seat? I didn’t think so
Thursday, March 10, 2005
I have been reading the Sarbanes Oxley act (they should rename it the "Enron Act"), talk about some edge of your seat reading, I can hardly wait for the movie.
This legislation is at times laughable (I guess it's not so funny if you worked for Enron). At other times you see how it can be profitable for vendors offering solutions (another great industry buzzword).
Here is one of my favorite passages from Section 802 regarding e-mails
Second, SOX Section 802 provides for prison sentences of up to twenty years for persons who delete an email "in contemplation” of a federal investigation or “matter” that does not yet exist", if a jury is convinced that such person’s intent was to “impede, obstruct or influence” such future matter. Presuming the inevitability of a federal investigation into the financial activities of any large public company, corporate officers who adopt policies requiring systematic deletion of all corporate emails, within weeks of their creation, for the very purpose of preventing possible adverse evidence from falling into the hands of federal investigators, are subjecting themselves to possible criminal prosecution.
I just love the "in contemplation” of a federal investigation or “matter” that does not yet exist", granted there is a comma after the statement. Let me break out my "Miss Cleo" crystal ball and see if I can predict if the jackball in the next cubicle who's working on the same project as I am is going to go off the deep end and start screwing our customers because he wife finds out he's screwing the checkout girl at the local grocery store.
Hey you have got to find some humor when your reading this kind of stuff.
At the office we talk about R.O.I. which usually means "return on investment" after reading this stuff I am beginning to think it means "risk of incarceration".
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
As much as I'm in the car I must have one of these.
My Mom is always worried when I am driving and on the cell phone at the same time, she will lose her mind (or take out a life insurance policy on me) when I roll up with one of these strapped to the steering wheel of my sled.
Screw the safety warning.
The wife received a "Distinguished Certificate of Recognition" from the Georgia PreSchool Association today, prompted from a letter the schools director wrote to the association.
In addition to maintaining order over a bunch of Kindergartners she is also C.E.O., C.F.O. and Human Resource Director of Fricks World (I am only the C.I.O.). At Fricks World she takes care of 3 kids, one of which can drive and buy beer, just not at the same time (that would be me).
That in a nutshell is why she rules. Congratulations babe.
Monday, March 07, 2005
The power company dropped our power lines as scheduled. The lumberjacks did not hit the house with any trees, as a matter of fact the trees came no where close to where the power lines were hanging, but they did drop one of the trees on top of our last remaining Bradford Pear Tree. Split the sucker clean in half. The wife hated that tree. I am thinking in the back of my little mind that she probably slipped them any extra $20.00 to get them to crush it since I wasn't at home.
I loved that tree, 25' tall and beautiful in the spring and fall. The phone call I got from home after the lumberjacks left was: "Now with the bradford pear tree gone you can see the roof, and the shingles are all dis-colored. The next project will be to replace the roof."
It looks like the "FREE" bradford pear tree removal is going to cost me a few thousand dollars. I think it would have been cheaper to have let the lumberjacks take out the power lines.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Martha's out. Is the Frick's World kitchen safe?
I remember growing up watching show like "The Rockford Files" & "Police Women" (Angie Dickinson was very confusing to a prepubescent 12 year old) that when ever someone was released from the slammer all they got was a new suit and $25.00. Now lets fast forward 4o years or so, now when you get sprung from the big house you receive television coverage, a smoking Yahoo! Ranking and a ride in a private jet.
Why I wonder are we spending tax dollars to outfit Martha with one of those drab house arrest bracelets? This women is going to have her every move covered by all the major news outlets.
I bet the news divisions are already putting together a "Martha Posse".
Could the whole "House Arrest Bracelet" be some kind of marketing scheme that Martha has put together (she's had 5 months)?
Think about it, her own line of "Marthaized" ankle bracelets. "House Arrest It's A Good Thing" could be the marketing campaign.
She is now eligible the receive her paycheck ($900,000.00 per year) and she has a couple of TV shows in the works.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Friday, March 04, 2005
Towards the end of practice "Coach Joe" lines up a scrimmage between us and the team on the next field. About 20 minutes into the scrimmage the other team lines up for a corner kick, "H" plants himself about 10 feet in front of the ball, "Pele' Jr" takes a running start towards the ball, makes contact with it and launches the ball square into "H"'s face.
The ball hits him so hard that it spins him around on one foot. The glasses go flying "H" spins around once and hits the ground (I could see the stars circling around his head from where I was standing). After he pulls himself back up on his feet I, being the caring parent, ask are you OK? His reply "I've got blood", no tears just a trembling voice muttering "I've got blood". Oh I almost forgot they were scrimmaging a girls team, 10 years old and already trying to be a stud, I'm so proud.
Since the bakery has taken so long to actually produce any baked goods we were beginning to think that they were stockpiling arms for some third world country. Anyway after being away from the office for the last few weeks I walked in this morning and all I could smell was baking bread, I mean it smelt like a freaking Subway restaurant, by 9:30 this morning we were all hungry.
We ate lunch at 10:30 this morning, now if we could only find some way to snag some samples.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Spent yesterday in Wilkes county North Carolina at a Chamber of Commerce trade show. There was snow all over the mountains.
Spent last night in Greenville South Carolina. Ate dinner at Sushi Koji, very traditional.
Frick's World will be embarking on Pine tree removal next week. I am determined to will the battle against the dreaded "Pine Cone". The tree service is having us call the power company to turn our power off and drop the power lines. I believe this is a sign that Lumberjack Larry is planning drop the trees away from the house.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
We already have born on dates for beer and Mtn. Dew now we have it for inkjet cartridges. Someone in HP's marketing dept was thinking on this one. I know that I wouldn't want old ink used to print my resume.