Why I Am A Total NERD

As everyone knows "The Wife" takes excellent care of me, she can always tell me where I left my car keys, where my collar stays are and where my cell phone holster is.
One thing that she is always concerned about that I have an umbrella in my car, sometime 3 or 4 umbrellas. In the 18+ years that we have been married I can count the number of times on one hand that I have used these umbrellas, never the less they are always in the trunk.
A co-worker and I took an early morning drive to Greenville SC today and of course it poured the whole way. We arrived at our destination to find a flooded parking lot and along dash between the rain drops to the front door. I open the trunk to get our computer bags and behold what do I see but my umbrellas. I gave the nice big golf version to my co-worker and I grab the smaller compact travel size (Hey, my heads smaller and I don't have any hair). We opened these suckers up and headed for the building, as we approached I saw the people we were meeting beginning to smile, as we got closer I noticed that they were all laughing. I did the normal guy thing and looked down and it was all cool, my zipper was zipped. We reached the door and as I was closing my umbrella I noticed what all the humor was about. My umbrella was covered with pictures of "Clifford The Big Red Dog". "The Wife" had sabotaged me, apparently this is one of those umbrellas your 3rd grader gets for selling $1200.00 worth of book fair books.