Monday, November 07, 2005

A Little Bathroom Humor

During idle chit chat with some of "The Relatives" over the weekend our talk turned to men'’s public bathrooms then the conversation took a turn towards men'’s public bathroom rules.
Now being a male and a public male at that it's my duty to inform, transfer knowledge, share (or whatever you want to label it) some of my men'’s public bathroom rules.

1 Personal Space
Never ever use a urinal next to one that is occupied, that'’s why there are stalls. The exception to this rule is if there are dividers between the urinals.
2 No talking
This is not the place to ask about the game or how the weekend was.
3 Hygiene
Even if you don'’t do it at home at least pretend to wash your hands before you exit the bathroom.
4 No touching
No, not even a high five
Someone might confuse touching with your sexual orientation and besides you'’re not sure if the other person has even heard of Rule 3.
5. No Cell Phone Usage
Refer to Rule 2 and besides that one of the guys at our office managed to flush his cell phone on a recent visit.

Those are the basic ground rules, here are some general tips

If you must use a stall never use your hands to flush, this is a men'’s bathroom not an operating room. Use your foot to flush and pray that your other foot doesn't slip in some tinkle that has mysteriously made its way to the floor.

Don'’t spend a bunch of time in front of the mirror. A quick check of your Windsor knot and that'’s it. You may think you'’re a Metro-Sexual but we don'’t and we really don'’t care.

Courtesy flush if you don'’t know what it is then "Google" it.

When at the urinal look straight ahead. Stare at the pretty grout, look for cool patterns in the marble do whatever but don'’t look right or left. You can look straight down, if you must.

If your in a stall and someone enters the bathroom cough or shuffle your feet just do something that makes some noise and let the new arrival of your presence. This could save an embarrassing moment or two.

Here's a bathroom etiquette test you can take "LINK"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Carnival of Personal Finance #21
Thanks for hosting this week! Busy week for me, I didn't have anything worth submitting this time around.
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