Friday, November 04, 2005

If Love Hurts This Much Your Doing It Wrong

My Comments Are In Red

Posted on Thu, Nov. 03, 2005

"Man sues ex over Super Glue attack"

The Associated Press

GREENSBURG -- He says she was so stuck on him that she stuck him together.
For that, a Pittsburgh man's ex-girlfriend should pay him more than $30,000 in damages, his attorney said.

That's the case Kenneth Slaby's (great name) attorney presented to a Westmoreland County jury on Wednesday, the first day of Slaby's civil suit against Gail O'Toole (an even better name)of Murrysville.

Slaby's lawsuit says that after dating for 10 months in 1999 they broke up and Slaby began dating another woman.

When that relationship ended, O'Toole invited Slaby over to her home (for a booty call?) on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep (this will prove to be Slaby's downfall). He woke up to find that O'Toole had Super Glued his genitals to his abdomen (ouch), glued his behind together (ouch, but funny) and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish (damn, just damn).

Slaby said O'Toole told him it was payback for their breakup, and he had to walk a mile (more like waddled) to a gas station to call for help. He pressed charges and O'Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and served six months probation.

O'Toole's attorney, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act (I doubt that) , Slaby wasn't permanently damaged (permanently,no but mentally damaged, yes), and "This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom." (well then instead of gluing his butt together she should have glued it to the bed)

OK, now no matter what kind of freaky, freak games you might play in the bedroom when someone breaks out the super glue things are not going to turn out well. I've used super glue for a few things around the house and every time I usually glue my fingers to what ever I was trying to repair.
Poor Slaby, once help finally arrived they more than likely said "Someone wrote in nail polish on this poor chaps back" then they see his genitals glued to his abdomen. Now once the gentlemen on the scene quit wincing they probably say something like "Dude that sucks, that chick crazys" then when they find out his butt is glued shut they fall to the ground laughing.

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