E F P T O Z

The better part of the morning was spent at the eye doctors.
After filling out all of the HIPAA documentation I began the exam. Now as the doctor is trying to decide if I need really thick glasses or just to go ahead and order me a white cane I start thinking that being an optometrist is not all that bad of a gig because, you never get any phone calls in the middle of the night, you don’t have too see blood and the patient is really that one that decides which prescription is best for them: as the doctor was flipping through all of the lenses he keeps saying “Which looks clearer to you number 1 or number 2, number 1 or number 2”. This guy has no idea how anything looks from my perspective, so my prescription is really left up to what I decide looks best to me.
After the exam I move over to the eyeglass section to pick out my new pair of specs.
I find a pair that is made by Esquire, maybe if I wear these I will look like an over 40 male model, maybe not, probably not.
Buying a pair of glasses is just short of being a complicated a buying a new car. Do you want the edges of the lenses frosted? NO. How about UV protection? NO, I have some cool sunglasses for when I’m outside. Do you need them scratch resistant? NO my eyes never itch. How about anti-reflective lenses? What the hell is that I ask? Well your current glasses don’t have that, so when I look at your glasses I see the reflection of everything that is behind me. Behind you? I thought these were my glasses, why should I buy something just so that people looking at me won’t see a reflection? What a crock. Now were down to the bifocal point of my purchase, “How much for the bifocal portion?” “It runs anywhere from $20.00 up to $300.00” she replies, that’s a nice tight range I say. I am starting to do the math in my head, and beginning to think that a white cane is a lot cheaper.
Anyway I opt for the progressive style of bifocals which means that people (once again) looking at my glasses won’t see a line where the bifocal portion stops. I am such an accommodating person.