Sunday, September 24, 2006

Not Yet

We stopped at the mall last night and what do my eyes see but "Christmas Decorations". We are too far out from Christmas to even begin with this stuff. So I have put together some holiday rules. Not just for Christmas but for all the holidays.

1. Stores can only merchandise for a holiday 3o days before said holiday. The exception to this is Christmas. You can merchandise for Christmas 45 days before the big day.
2. The above rules also applies to the music associated with each holiday.
3. Men's rule: if you wish to wear seasonal neckties they may not include lights or noises. You would not wear a goofy ass tie on August 12th don't wear one for Halloween.
4. Holiday decorations must be removed within 7 days after said holiday has past. This also means we don't need to see your Christmas lights hung on the Ficus tree in the corner of your dining room. They belong on a Christmas tree and nothing else.
5. You may not decorate your pet for the holiday (unless it's a dog that weighs at least 30lbs and then you can only place a bandanna around the dogs neck. (no foam antlers for Fido)
6. Kids must not have homework over the holidays. The last thing I need the night before they go back to school is them crying because they forgot to do their holiday homework.
7. No holiday decorations may be taller or weigh more than the person setting them up, the exception to this is the Christmas tree.
8. Decorating your yard must not require more that (2) 100 foot extension cords. If you have a decoration more than 100 ft. from your house we don't want to see it. Besides I have neighbors whose light displays rival the airports landing lights.

No comments: