Saturday, September 30, 2006
But Doesn't Jesus Already Know My Pin Number?
Well it has finally happened, first you could use your debit to pay for gas at the pump, then you could pay for your Taco Bell with a debit card and now you can swipe your debit card for God. No more throwing a dime, 5 pennies and 2 buttons into the offering plate on Sunday morning.
Check out the name "Giving Kiosks", this is just perfect for all of the arena rock style church's that are popping up all across the countryside. Now I wonder if you feel the pangs of guilt and you overdraft your account one Sunday morning will the church force the bank to charge you for insufficient funds or will it just be forgive and forget? Hmmmmmm.
The lord wants a new Porsche and he wants me to drive it.
via "BoingBoing"
Rant Of The Week
Why do people read blogs? So they can find out what everyone rants about? Maybe who knows.
Be that as it may, here's my rant of the week.
"H" has soccer practice twice a week. Where he practices they have a great running/walking trail, 1.5 miles through the woods, it's paved, has mile markers and several nice grades, to sum it up, it's much better than running on a treadmill while watching re-runs of "Murder She Wrote".
But lately (here come the ranting part) there has been an abundance of people talking on their cell phone while on the trail, what's up with that? Look I try to be as connected as possible, driving directions sent to my cell phone, all of my calendars are sync'd so that "The Wife" can always tell where I'm at, "RFID" chip implanted under my skin (not really, maybe next year), etc......
Of course most of the people jacking their jaw are walking right down the middle of the trail and have know idea that there are people behind them trying to pass, it's like being on "I-85".
What really got this all started was the lady last night that was walking & talking, but she had her phone on speaker. So there I was minding my own damn business, running through the woods and I begin to hear voices. Not the normal voices that are always in my head, but conversation voices. What the "" where is this coming from and then around the corner she appeared. Her Nokia clipped to her blouse, bouncing up and down with each step she took, I half expected to see her carrying a Starbucks.
Well at least they are exercising, at least they are doing something, maybe, but damn can't they put down their phone for a lap or two?
OK, that was it, the rant of the week now you can go and check out what "Scoble" has too say.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Not Yet
We stopped at the mall last night and what do my eyes see but "Christmas Decorations". We are too far out from Christmas to even begin with this stuff. So I have put together some holiday rules. Not just for Christmas but for all the holidays.
1. Stores can only merchandise for a holiday 3o days before said holiday. The exception to this is Christmas. You can merchandise for Christmas 45 days before the big day.
2. The above rules also applies to the music associated with each holiday.
3. Men's rule: if you wish to wear seasonal neckties they may not include lights or noises. You would not wear a goofy ass tie on August 12th don't wear one for Halloween.
4. Holiday decorations must be removed within 7 days after said holiday has past. This also means we don't need to see your Christmas lights hung on the Ficus tree in the corner of your dining room. They belong on a Christmas tree and nothing else.
5. You may not decorate your pet for the holiday (unless it's a dog that weighs at least 30lbs and then you can only place a bandanna around the dogs neck. (no foam antlers for Fido)
6. Kids must not have homework over the holidays. The last thing I need the night before they go back to school is them crying because they forgot to do their holiday homework.
7. No holiday decorations may be taller or weigh more than the person setting them up, the exception to this is the Christmas tree.
8. Decorating your yard must not require more that (2) 100 foot extension cords. If you have a decoration more than 100 ft. from your house we don't want to see it. Besides I have neighbors whose light displays rival the airports landing lights.
It's Beyond Me
Why I lack the basic ability to park my car between the lines in a straight on parking spot. Angled ones no problem straight ones and I'm like a cocaine freak "All over the white line"...
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
I Just Ordered One Of These
I saw this and just had to have one. Now that the "Strikers" are back together for the fall season
I plan to ride my "Cruzin Cooler" across the field at each and every game. My big belly jiggling and bouncing as I cruise along a 5 mph. I plan to fill this puppy full of adult beverages and be every parents best friend. For fun than a Segway.
(somehow I have a feeling this is a scam, but still a cool product)
I'm Living With Cliff
"Cliff Clavin" that is. "H" is truly a 12 year old version of this "Cheers" regular. This kid spews forth more useless trivia than anyone I know. If he could only harness this mental power and apply it towards something more productive. Then again I could always take him to "Hooters" for trivia night.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
A New Friend
This little guy greeted us this rainy morning, stuck to the front door window. I guess after 12 hours of rain my web-footed friend wanted in and wanted to dry off.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
20th Anniversary
The wife and I celebrated our 20th Anniversary yesterday and in traditional Frick's World style I was out of town and we actually celebrated before the actual date. We're not big on patience.
We went to "Little Gardens" for dinner (alas a place where there are no pictures on the menu).
We decided to get married around Labor Day so that we would always have a 3 day weekend around Anniversary time. Pretty smart thinking for a couple of 21 year olds.
Again I remind everyone that September is a big month around here our Anniversary and Frickmas (my birthday).
Monday, September 04, 2006
Yet Another Reason To Love iPods
And it would be what I call the "iBra". Ladies no more holding your iPod as sweat drips off you fingers and covers your nice clean & dry iPod in a layer of your glistening residue.
Granted Victoria's Secret isn't making these but it appears as if it will get the job done. Now there are just too many jokes that I could insert right about now, but I'm more mature now than 3 minutes ago when I first read about this.
read more | digg story
Sunday, September 03, 2006
59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30
"LINK"
From Esquire
1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack.
5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"
10. Skip.
11. Take a camera to a nude beach.
12. Let his father do his taxes.
13. Tap on the glass.
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"
15. Use the word collated on his resume.
16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
21. Hug amusement-park characters.
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
25. Request extra sprinkles.
26. Air drum.
27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater."
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
39. Whine.
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
42. Google the word vagina.
43. Ride a pony.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.
45. Hit 13 against a 6.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Keg stands.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.
54. Read The Fountainhead.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."
57. Own a vanity plate.
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
From Esquire
1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack.
5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"
10. Skip.
11. Take a camera to a nude beach.
12. Let his father do his taxes.
13. Tap on the glass.
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"
15. Use the word collated on his resume.
16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
21. Hug amusement-park characters.
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
25. Request extra sprinkles.
26. Air drum.
27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater."
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
39. Whine.
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
42. Google the word vagina.
43. Ride a pony.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.
45. Hit 13 against a 6.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Keg stands.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.
54. Read The Fountainhead.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."
57. Own a vanity plate.
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
Amazon Book Reviews (by someone who hasn't read the books!)
Here's a guy after my own heart. In school I' was known to write a book report or two without ever reading the book, imagine that. "LINK".
read more | digg story
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Possible Job Openings
In keeping with my theme of "Trying to be all things to all people" we are posting a couple of possible job openings.
District Attorney position in Colorado "LINK"
We'll see how this pans out over the next few weeks. Mary Lacy did step up to the plate and take full accountability for the whole John Mark Karr debacle. I really thought she was holding the "Trump" (see below) card. After the Governor took her to task via the media I see her resignation in the near future.
This probably won't be the toughest job to land if you're qualified but you will be charged with the task of finding the real JonBenet murderer, which I wish you luck with.
Reality Show Co-Host & Prestigious Golf Course Manager "LINK"
It appears that Carolyn Kepcher has gotten to big for her Armani suit and "The Donald" has let
her go. I think she sould have added an additional chapter to her book "Carolyn 101: Business Lessons from The Apprentice's Straight Shooter" titled "Don't Ever Try To Out-Shine The Boss".
This might be a tough position to land, somehow I feel that "The Donald" will replace Carolyn
with his daughter, Ivanka, but if your really really good looking you might stand a chance.
District Attorney position in Colorado "LINK"We'll see how this pans out over the next few weeks. Mary Lacy did step up to the plate and take full accountability for the whole John Mark Karr debacle. I really thought she was holding the "Trump" (see below) card. After the Governor took her to task via the media I see her resignation in the near future.
This probably won't be the toughest job to land if you're qualified but you will be charged with the task of finding the real JonBenet murderer, which I wish you luck with.
Reality Show Co-Host & Prestigious Golf Course Manager "LINK"It appears that Carolyn Kepcher has gotten to big for her Armani suit and "The Donald" has let
her go. I think she sould have added an additional chapter to her book "Carolyn 101: Business Lessons from The Apprentice's Straight Shooter" titled "Don't Ever Try To Out-Shine The Boss".
This might be a tough position to land, somehow I feel that "The Donald" will replace Carolyn
with his daughter, Ivanka, but if your really really good looking you might stand a chance.
Geo_Tagging With Flickr
Flickr is now letting you place where you took your photos on a map. Enter in an address on the GPS coordinates of where you took the picture. I need to travel to the Northeast or the Northwest. Here's my map "LINK"
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