Another Friday Night And I’m A Dumb Ass

I left Ft Lauderdale last night at 5:00pm with an expected arrival in Atlanta at 7:00pm. Pretty easy and sound plan, yeah right.
6:30pm
This is your Captain speaking we are in a holding pattern as there is a storm sitting over the Atlanta airport, we’ll keep you apprised of any changes.
6:45pm
This is your Captain speaking Ah yeah we’re still in a holding pattern if this continues much longer we are going to have to divert to Columbia, SC to take on additional fuel.
7:00pm
This is your Captain speaking we are heading to Columbia, SC for refueling.
7:50pm
We land in Columbia, SC for refueling.
The moment we land the entire interior of the plane lights up with the glow of cell phones. The typical conversation We’re in @*!#$ Columbia, SC. Yeah, weather in Atlanta Yeah I’m going to miss my connection.
I’m lucky I live in Atlanta no chance of me missing a connection.
They toss us some token water and crackers. This is where several people exited the plane and headed to Hertz and a 3:00 hour drive back to Atlanta. I should have followed the smart people and exited the plane, but alas
I’m a dumb ass.
8:50pm
We are fueled up, the paper work is signed and we head for the runway.
9:00pm
The engines shut off, not a good sign.
This is your Captain speaking Ah yeah the Atlanta airport has invoked flow control and we are going to be sitting here for a while.
I’m still a dumb ass
9:10pm
This is your Captain speaking, Ah yeah we have a wheels up time of 9:50. My dumb ass points are increasing by the minute, no make that the second.
I'm a dumb ass.
9:15pm
The surfer dude sitting next to me asks the Flight Attendant if she could put a movie in while we are waiting, good thinking. What does she put in but "Jam & Jerusalem" , you ever heard of it? Me neither. Yeah the Flight Attendant pulled a good one over on us, what a brutally painful show.
I’m such a dumb ass and so is surfer dude.
9:50pm
The standard "any devices with an off/on switch needs to be turned off so we can be ready for take off".
9:55pm
Again, the standard "any devices with an off/on switch needs to be turned off so we can be ready for take off".
Across the isle from me Ricky Bobby begins holding his powered off cell phone above his head. This continues for several minutes. I call him Ricky Bobby because he’s wearing his black #8 baseball hat and matching black #8 shirt. Go "Little E".
More on Ricky latter
10:10pm
We are airborne but
I’m still a dumb ass.
11:20pm
We land in Atlanta.
The second, and I mean the second we land Ricky Bobby stands up and starts heading up the isle. He makes it about 7 rows and turns around and head for the back of the plane turns around again and goes back to his seat. Surfer dude turns to me and says What the $%@#.
11:30pm
This is your Captain speaking, Ah yeah there are 180 planes on the ground and only 110 gates we’re going to be sitting here for a while. If I had exited the plane in Columbia, SC I would be home in my bed by now.
I’m such a dumb ass.
12:00am
Ricky Bobby is standing in the doorway of the plane writing down the Flight Attendants names, Ricky Bobby, is a dumb ass.
Maybe he was going to report them for making us watch Jam & Jerusalem, I sure hope so.
1:30am
I’m finally home.