My PSA (Public Service Announcement)

"Goose" now has her license, you have been duly warned/advised. Now you shouldn't be that nervous I'm nervous enough for everyone. "Goose" has been to "Taggart's" (not the D.U.I. part, just the Drivers ED part) and passed. They even made her drive to the Atlanta airport and on I-285.
It's not so much her that makes me nervous, it's the other idiots on the road that make me nervous (all parents say that, I think it is a parental requirement).
After spending the morning at the DMV I now have a better understanding of what's wrong with this country. We should now make it a requirement that before you can vote you must drop by the DMV for a few hours just to observe, because this, in my opinion is where most of the idiots hang out and maybe seeing these peoples behavior might influence you on what issues you need to really pay attention to when casting your vote, then agin maybe it won't. I also have a feeling that most of these idiots also vote. There are people there that can't follow directions: "Please wait here for your number to be called", "Please remain in this area while the driving test is being performed" and once again I add most of these idiots vote.

"Goose" was a bit concerned with the whole "Will I pass my driving test?" and I being the best parent that I could assured her "Yes, you'll pass" while in the back of my mind just hoping that she would. Well after waiting for our number to be called and listening to all of the different dialects being spoken because these people knew little or no English ( I'm on the side of that they knew no English, but damn they knew they needed a drivers license), I was convinced that she would pass. The DMV is the cultural melting pot of our country.

As "Goose" was taking her driving test and while "The Wife" and I stayed in the designated area I spied this genius leaving the DMV with what I'm sure was his nice new shinny license in hand. He decides to pull out onto "Beaver Ruin Road" on the left side of a double yellow line and a cement divider. I could only imagine that "Genius Boy" is thinking "Everyone is honking at me because they are so excited that I just got my license" no they're honking at you cause your an idiot and you probably vote..................

The above picture was not "Photoshopped" just ask "The Wife" she saw this as well.

Inspiring

Read a bit more about this father & son team "LINK"

You Got Your Elbow In My Picasso

No, you got your Picasso on my elbow.

Klutziness Costs Steve Wynn a 'Hole' Lot

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Talk about putting the "D'oh!" in a painting worth a whole lot of dough.

Just a day after arranging to sell Pablo Picasso's "Le Reve" (French for "The Dream") for a record-setting chunk of cash, casino owner "Steve Wynn" put a silver dollar-sized hole in the prized painting with his elbow in front of a star-studded group that included Barbara Walters and screenwriters Nora Ephron and Nicholas Pileggi, the Las Vegas Review-Journal reports.
"LINK"

Now I have done a few clumsy things in my life, I drove my Dad's car into a freezer (the freezer was in the garage not in the house) and then there was the time I replaced the batteries in a calculator only to turn it upside down and watch all the keys fall out. Both of these "Clumsy" incidents cost maybe a total of $300.00, maybe.......
But to put your elbow through a 139 million dollar painting, that you just sold, damn.... The fact that someone would actually pay $139 million dollars for a painting, double damn.
I understand that Wynn has some really jacked up eye problem, but if you have his kind on money you hire people to stand between you and anything that you might possibly damage.

Nerd Moment

No, I have not lost my mind a started covering everything in sight with aluminum foil. I'm not afraid of those evil rays from space.
I came across the "Ez-12" Parabolic Reflector (whatever the hell that means) Template and decided to see if I could extend the range of my 3 year old router. Looking at the 5 cars parked out in front of the house I would say that it works.
Besides when people come in for a visit and see this it will give me real street cred like I'm some sort of a computer wizard.

Airplane Safety Video

Chris has sat through this one too many times

TSA Is So On The Ball

At the airport this afternoon, I'm putting my shoes back on, sliding my laptop back into its case after going through security, when I look over my shoulder and what do I see?
But a hand truck with six 5 gallon bottles of water on it. Guess what there is no one watching the hand truck, guarding the hand truck or supervising the hand truck, it's all by itself. Now this hand truck has somehow mysteriously made it past all of the TSA screeners onto the gate side of the terminal.
Now due to the fact that I travel with a half ounce bottle of liquid shampoo (a months supply I might add) it is highly advisable that I check my luggage, which I did.
If a half ounce of shampoo can take down a plane I just wonder what 30 gallons of water could do in some terrorists hands.

My "Frickmas" Presents

Well in case you missed it on FOX news "Frickmas" was last weekend. "The Wife" bestowed on me a new piece of gym equipment, her subtle way of letting me know that I need to get in shape or she was concerned that I was going to get crushed under a barbell. I picked up my "Power Rack" (and a new CAP barbell) yesterday and after assembling it I was to tired to workout.
The only thing that the Fricks World gym is missing is a towel girl.

Oh You Gotta Love This One

Frisco outs art teacher after museum trip

FRISCO, Texas Frisco school trustees aren't renewing the contract of a veteran art teacher who was reprimanded because a student saw a nude sculpture during a museum visit.
"LINK"

Kids have been taking field trips ever since teachers figured out it was a great way to waste a school day and it didn't really involve much planning.
One of the best places for a field trip is a museum. You will have a tour guide that does all the planning, all the talking, will even yell at the students if they get too loud and plus the teacher can sit on the bus and smoke (at least that's what my teachers did).
Now all of a sudden in this day and age some parent blows a gasket cause little Johnny saw a nude sculpture. I might be way off on this one but I believe that there have been nude sculptures in museums since their inception. Matter of fact I think museums were built so that we could store all the nude sculptures in one place, that way you don't have to drive all over God's green earth to see them.
Now why did this parent sign the permission slip to allow little Johnny to go? Didn't they know what exhibits are in museums? Were they that stupid? If they are then we need to find little Johnny a new set of parents.
Besides museums, art books and National Geographic magazines are a great way for pre-adolescent kids to learns about the "Birds and the Bees" and it keeps them from bugging us with those types of questions........

One For All You Road Warriors

Sometimes the little guy wins.
Here is an absolutely horrifying story "LINK"

Curious George Part Duex

Looks like George Michael has gone and done it yet again "LINK". We spoke about this earlier in the year "LINK" . Famous people are not bright enough to buy, carry, handle or touch their own drugs, you all get busted each and every time.
Now George has been arrested for drugs and I believe he was also caught in a public restroom exposing himself to an undercover cop.
Does this guy think he's a member of Congress or what?

My Question Of The Week

Unless you are living under a rock everyone has heard of Rep. Mark Foley and his apparent fondness for texting 16 year old house pages. In case you are living under said rock here is a "LINK" please read every bit & byte and then come back here and finish reading this post.
But in a nutshell Foley got nailed for apparently texting a house page some questionable content. Then after getting busted Foley pulled out this grand trifecta, possibly looking for some sympathy
He's gay (so are many people, and since he was texting male pages we kind of assumed this)
He's an alcoholic (oh yeah, and he's on his was to rehab)
And as a teen he was molested by a member of the clergy (much to easy to add a smart ass comment here, so please add your own)

OK, here is my question:
Why was none of this apparently vital information important to us until after Foley got nailed with his finger on the # button?

In the past I've been known to drink and a few times I've even drank on both Friday and then Saturday night and have never once felt the urge to text 16 year old little girls or little boys.

Is Foley the same kind of alcoholic that Mel Gibson is? I've never uttered anti-semitic remarks after I've downed a few drinks. Maybe they are convenient alcoholics.

Is it that hard for one to be responsible for their own actions?

Well I guess that was 3 questions.

Guess What I Didn't Buy Today

The latest and greatest device for "Latch-Key-Kids". This being such a litigious society and all I'm surprised that there isn't another sticker telling you to remove the "Key Hide" sticker.
Well your Honor I didn't know that after I stashed my house key in the rabbits butt that I should remove the "Key Hide" sticker. I guess those mean old burglar's were able to read, and that's why I'm suing the "Plastic Rabbit Key Hide" company.
I'm thinking of walking through my neighborhood and see if I can find any of these little gems.

New Soccer Pictures

The "Strikers" are back for another season "LINK"

I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am

It seems like Milo G. was close to getting blood in his alcohol.

Drunk as a skunk - and then some
By Mike Miller
With a blood alcohol content of 0.425 percent, many people would be dead, and most others, according to one scientific study, would probably be in a coma. But not Milo G. Chamberlain of Madison. He was still able to argue with a bartender, swipe a few bucks from a pool player and, after having been kicked out of the Union House Tavern, get into a fight with a nearby gasoline pump.
"LINK"

As you read through the article you'll also find that Milo G. was also under the impression that smoking $1.00 bills will give you a buzz. Well Milo G. let me tell you that smoking currency will give you a heady buzz, but it's from the lack of oxygen to your brain not any chemicals that are actually contained it the bills you were smoking.

No Longer A Problem Thanks To TSA Making Us Check Our Bags

But Doesn't Jesus Already Know My Pin Number?

Well it has finally happened, first you could use your debit to pay for gas at the pump, then you could pay for your Taco Bell with a debit card and now you can swipe your debit card for God. No more throwing a dime, 5 pennies and 2 buttons into the offering plate on Sunday morning.
Check out the name "Giving Kiosks", this is just perfect for all of the arena rock style church's that are popping up all across the countryside. Now I wonder if you feel the pangs of guilt and you overdraft your account one Sunday morning will the church force the bank to charge you for insufficient funds or will it just be forgive and forget? Hmmmmmm.
The lord wants a new Porsche and he wants me to drive it.
via "BoingBoing"

Rant Of The Week

Why do people read blogs? So they can find out what everyone rants about? Maybe who knows.
Be that as it may, here's my rant of the week.
"H" has soccer practice twice a week. Where he practices they have a great running/walking trail, 1.5 miles through the woods, it's paved, has mile markers and several nice grades, to sum it up, it's much better than running on a treadmill while watching re-runs of "Murder She Wrote".
But lately (here come the ranting part) there has been an abundance of people talking on their cell phone while on the trail, what's up with that? Look I try to be as connected as possible, driving directions sent to my cell phone, all of my calendars are sync'd so that "The Wife" can always tell where I'm at, "RFID" chip implanted under my skin (not really, maybe next year), etc......
Of course most of the people jacking their jaw are walking right down the middle of the trail and have know idea that there are people behind them trying to pass, it's like being on "I-85".
What really got this all started was the lady last night that was walking & talking, but she had her phone on speaker. So there I was minding my own damn business, running through the woods and I begin to hear voices. Not the normal voices that are always in my head, but conversation voices. What the "" where is this coming from and then around the corner she appeared. Her Nokia clipped to her blouse, bouncing up and down with each step she took, I half expected to see her carrying a Starbucks.
Well at least they are exercising, at least they are doing something, maybe, but damn can't they put down their phone for a lap or two?
OK, that was it, the rant of the week now you can go and check out what "Scoble" has too say.

View From Here

Hampton Inn #322
Greenville, SC

View From Here

Crowne Plaza #615
Richmond, VA

View From Here

CandleWood Suites #316
Raleigh, NC

Not Yet

We stopped at the mall last night and what do my eyes see but "Christmas Decorations". We are too far out from Christmas to even begin with this stuff. So I have put together some holiday rules. Not just for Christmas but for all the holidays.

1. Stores can only merchandise for a holiday 3o days before said holiday. The exception to this is Christmas. You can merchandise for Christmas 45 days before the big day.
2. The above rules also applies to the music associated with each holiday.
3. Men's rule: if you wish to wear seasonal neckties they may not include lights or noises. You would not wear a goofy ass tie on August 12th don't wear one for Halloween.
4. Holiday decorations must be removed within 7 days after said holiday has past. This also means we don't need to see your Christmas lights hung on the Ficus tree in the corner of your dining room. They belong on a Christmas tree and nothing else.
5. You may not decorate your pet for the holiday (unless it's a dog that weighs at least 30lbs and then you can only place a bandanna around the dogs neck. (no foam antlers for Fido)
6. Kids must not have homework over the holidays. The last thing I need the night before they go back to school is them crying because they forgot to do their holiday homework.
7. No holiday decorations may be taller or weigh more than the person setting them up, the exception to this is the Christmas tree.
8. Decorating your yard must not require more that (2) 100 foot extension cords. If you have a decoration more than 100 ft. from your house we don't want to see it. Besides I have neighbors whose light displays rival the airports landing lights.

It's Beyond Me

Why I lack the basic ability to park my car between the lines in a straight on parking spot. Angled ones no problem straight ones and I'm like a cocaine freak "All over the white line"...

View From Here

Columbia SC
Hampton Inn #612

You Might Be A Redneck If....

you manage to get a black eye from a fish
Want to read more "LINK"
via "NGTO" from Ivan

Neat Site

Ever wonder how much stuff is inside the stuff we have? Well this site does all the dirty work for you. This is a site to check out while at the office on a slow Friday afternoon. "LINK"

I Just Ordered One Of These

I saw this and just had to have one. Now that the "Strikers" are back together for the fall season
I plan to ride my "Cruzin Cooler" across the field at each and every game. My big belly jiggling and bouncing as I cruise along a 5 mph. I plan to fill this puppy full of adult beverages and be every parents best friend. For fun than a Segway.
(somehow I have a feeling this is a scam, but still a cool product)

I'm Living With Cliff

"Cliff Clavin" that is. "H" is truly a 12 year old version of this "Cheers" regular. This kid spews forth more useless trivia than anyone I know. If he could only harness this mental power and apply it towards something more productive. Then again I could always take him to "Hooters" for trivia night.

A New Friend

This little guy greeted us this rainy morning, stuck to the front door window. I guess after 12 hours of rain my web-footed friend wanted in and wanted to dry off.

View From Here

Greenville SC
Holiday Inn Express #428

View From Here

Raleigh NC
Hampton Inn #117

20th Anniversary

The wife and I celebrated our 20th Anniversary yesterday and in traditional Frick's World style I was out of town and we actually celebrated before the actual date. We're not big on patience.
We went to "Little Gardens" for dinner (alas a place where there are no pictures on the menu).
We decided to get married around Labor Day so that we would always have a 3 day weekend around Anniversary time. Pretty smart thinking for a couple of 21 year olds.
Again I remind everyone that September is a big month around here our Anniversary and Frickmas (my birthday).

Yet Another Reason To Love iPods

And it would be what I call the "iBra". Ladies no more holding your iPod as sweat drips off you fingers and covers your nice clean & dry iPod in a layer of your glistening residue.
Granted Victoria's Secret isn't making these but it appears as if it will get the job done. Now there are just too many jokes that I could insert right about now, but I'm more mature now than 3 minutes ago when I first read about this.


read more | digg story

59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30

"LINK"
From Esquire

1. Coin his own nickname.

2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.

3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.

4. Hacky sack.

5. Name his "unit" his name plus junior.

6. Hang art with tape.

7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.

8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"

9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ass?"

10. Skip.

11. Take a camera to a nude beach.

12. Let his father do his taxes.

13. Tap on the glass.

14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"

15. Use the word collated on his resume.

16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.

17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.

18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.

19. Give shout-outs.

20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.

21. Hug amusement-park characters.

22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.

23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."

24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."

25. Request extra sprinkles.

26. Air drum.

27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.

28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.

29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.

30. Sleep on a bare mattress.

31. End a conversation with "later skater."

32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.

33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"

34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.

35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.

36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.

37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.

38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."

39. Whine.

40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."

41. Purchase fireworks.

42. Google the word vagina.

43. Ride a pony.

44. Sport an ironic mustache.

45. Hit 13 against a 6.

46. Organize a party bus.

47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.

48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.

49. Keg stands.

50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.

51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.

52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.

53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.

54. Read The Fountainhead.

55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.

56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."

57. Own a vanity plate.

58. Whippits.

59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."

Amazon Book Reviews (by someone who hasn't read the books!)

Here's a guy after my own heart. In school I' was known to write a book report or two without ever reading the book, imagine that. "LINK".

read more | digg story

Possible Job Openings

In keeping with my theme of "Trying to be all things to all people" we are posting a couple of possible job openings.District Attorney position in Colorado "LINK"
We'll see how this pans out over the next few weeks. Mary Lacy did step up to the plate and take full accountability for the whole John Mark Karr debacle. I really thought she was holding the "Trump" (see below) card. After the Governor took her to task via the media I see her resignation in the near future.
This probably won't be the toughest job to land if you're qualified but you will be charged with the task of finding the real JonBenet murderer, which I wish you luck with.
Reality Show Co-Host & Prestigious Golf Course Manager "LINK"
It appears that Carolyn Kepcher has gotten to big for her Armani suit and "The Donald" has let
her go. I think she sould have added an additional chapter to her book "Carolyn 101: Business Lessons from The Apprentice's Straight Shooter" titled "Don't Ever Try To Out-Shine The Boss".
This might be a tough position to land, somehow I feel that "The Donald" will replace Carolyn
with his daughter, Ivanka, but if your really really good looking you might stand a chance.

Geo_Tagging With Flickr

Flickr is now letting you place where you took your photos on a map. Enter in an address on the GPS coordinates of where you took the picture. I need to travel to the Northeast or the Northwest. Here's my map "LINK"

View From Here

Cleveland, TN
Hampton Inn #222

This Is Why You Never Buy A Used Rental Car

If you have ever had the insane fantasy of buying a rental car this should put a stop to it quicker than Tammy Fay Baker in a swimsuit. It seem that Hertz has a "Rent-A-Racer" program smack full of fun to drive cars and oh yeah take out the extra insurance.
Watch the video "LINK"

View from Here

Richmond VA
Crowne Plaza #446

2 quick things
1) Nothing worse than flying out on a Sunday afternoon
2) Why is there an "e" at the end of Crowne

Thought Of The Week

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and proclaiming "WOW WHAT A RIDE"
Moondogs Pizza
St. Simons GA

I Just Ordered One Of These

As everyone knows we are the proud owners of "Cider the wonder dog" she is our last real pet (the fish and turtles don't really count, because if one dies you could go right down to PetSmart and buy another one that looks just like the one that's dead). "Cider" is getting up in years and her legs don't work as well as they used to. When I saw the "PuppyPurse" I knew this would help her through the winter of her years. Just throw her in the harness, sling her over the shoulder and off we go. Now the kids will have to beef up their shoulder exercises due to "Ciders" 60lb weight, but I don't thinks it's nothing that they can't overcome.

Is Goofy Next?

Well it seems this week that Disney has decided to fire Pluto as one of the nine dwarfs. Oh it wasn't Disney but the "International Organization Of Planet Dudes" that has put Pluto up on the block, I guess we are starting to have too many planets, or maybe there are cooler planets out there than Pluto, who knows. Now I see this impacting two major groups, the horoscope writers and 5th grade students. No longer when you scan the comic section of the newspaper looking for your horoscope will you be able to read "Don't run with scissors today because Pluto is in the moon of Uranus". Well there's not much I can offer you folks.
Next up, students. Back when I was a wee lad we learned to remember the planets with the following phrase: "My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas". That worked nine planets nine words, simple. Now with eight official planets we need a new phrase and I have come up with it "My Very Erotic Mistress Just Showed Up Naked". Granted it's a little rougher but times have changed and education has to keep up with the times, I'm just doing my part.

View From Here

Virginia Beach VA
Candlewood Suites #301

Told You It Was Gonna Get Weird

Karr visited gender bender center

New twist in bizarre tale – creep
treated at transsexual clinic

BY MATHEW SCOTT in Bangkok
and ADAM LISBERG in Boulder, Colo.
DAILY NEWS WRITERS

The creep who confessed to killing JonBenet Ramsey had another bizarre secret up his sleeve in the months before his arrest - he was visiting a surgical center that specializes in sex-change operations.

"LINK"

Remember These?

Now I was never fortunate enough to carry the ever popular bag phone, but I did have one of the ATT "Zack Morris" models. Check out the link to the top 10 most beautiful phones "LINK"

The Week In Review

It has been a very busy week around here, imagine that.

It appears that we are now catless (if that's a word). "Zippy" left out of the house last Saturday and has not been seen since. She has spent the last few weeks acting very strange, sleeping in front of the toilets, letting out strange noises and walking in and out of everyone's legs. "Goose" is thinking that she went away to die, the rest of the family is starting to believe this as well. "Zippy" was a decent cat as far as cats go and was 13 years old, in this house that's a record for a pet.
I took a couple of days off this week and managed to put a dent in the mess that resides in the basement. I installed a pull-up bar so that "H" can practice his monkey boy stunts.
This week also saw the start of school for the kids. "H" headed out for his first day of middle school. No picture of "Goose" because she left way to early for us to see her out.
This is going to get really weird (as if it's not weird enough already) before it's all over.

View From Here

Montgomery, AL
Fairfield Inn #205

Win An iPod

No this is not one of those cheezie contests where you have to buy 35 different items thats total cost is equal to 3 iPods, this is legit.
Kris (with a K) & Betsy host a three episode per week podcast direct from Naperville IL (one of the top cities to live in I might add). They are funny, and I know funny and are worth a listen. They are approaching their 300th episode and want to add 300 NEW listeners by that 300th show. So what better grassroots marketing campaign than to give something away. In this case they are giving away iPods, four of them.
Now for the un-knowing you don't need an iPod to listen to a podcast you can listen to their show right from their website or download it and listen of your mp3 player of choice, it's that easy.
Even "The Wife" enjoys listening to them and is somewhat really caught up in their adventures.
OK, so why and I pimping this? Well if you click on the graphic above it will take you their 300 by 300th page where you will fill out some new listener information at the bottom of the page you will see my name as the referrer. If you are the 300th or if your name is drawn, both you and I receive an iPod. Pretty easy, huh................

Give them a listen and while the whole show archive is superb a great place to start would be show #235 "The Vacation" show.

They are just like you and I only funnier

Solving America's Crack Problem

No, not the type of crack you are thinking of. This is the kind of crack that you would find in abundance at a plumber's convention.

Leave it to the fine folks at "Duluth Trading" to solve it with their long-tail shirt. Now this shirt has been out for a while but now it's improved: thicker fabric and no more scratchy neck tag. Man why didn't someone think to remove those neck tags about 15 years ago.
Buy you one of these, cut the sleeves off and you're ready for your debut on "COPS"
via "BoingBoing"

20 Things That Took Me 50 Years to Learn by Dave Barry

OK, I'm not 50 and I didn't write this but that doesn't make it any less funny.

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

19. Your friends and family love you anyway.

20. Never buy wallpaper if you have just smoked marijuana.

I Feel Much Safer Now, Really

I am not flying this week, thank God, imagine the headaches that are happening at the security lines as you read this. But here is my concern TSA is seizing all of our liquids due to the possibility that they might explode. So now what does TSA do with there suspicious liquids? They throw it into a whole big trash can full of suspicious liquids that might possibly exploded. That's gotta be the safest thing you could do right?
Just think I figured this out on my own and I don't even work for the TSA.

Picture Of The Week

that follows the theme of the post below.

It's All About Me

I bought a new toy (if that's the right word) for myself, a set of "HOIST" dumbbells. 10 - 75lbs of adjustable iron in 5 lb increments complete with a nifty stand. This takes up less space than 14 sets of dumbbells and less chance of stubbing my toe on one of them.
I looked at the "Bowflex" dumbbells nice design but (3) negatives

• Real expensive and I mean real expensive
• They only go up to 50lbs. (not that I'm that strong)
• They're plastic, if you drop them they crack

If you're enjoying the exercise your probably doing it wrong!

Waste 3 Full Minutes Of Your Life