Yet Another Life Tip

Car Hits, Kills SC Man 'Relieving Himself' In Road

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
ANDERSON, S.C. -- Authorities say a South Carolina man was standing in the middle of a road to relieve himself when
he was fatally struck by a passing car.
Anderson County Coroner Greg Shore tells the Anderson Independent-Mail that 28-year-old Markie Hood died shortly
after he was hit around 1:45 a.m. Wednesday.
Shore said Hood and two friends were driving home after drinking at a Pendleton bar when the driver let Hood and his
friend out on U.S. 76 near Interstate 85 to relieve themselves and drove away.
The second man left the scene after Hood was hit. Shore said he nearly hit that man as he drove to the scene.
Troopers said they have no plans to charge the driver of the passing car. "LINK"

Two life tips in the same week.
This tip is easy "Don't pee in any place that doesn't have a door and don't pee any place that has a traffic light".
Of course you know as well as I do that the key to this article is the phrase "after drinking at a Pendleton bar"

Another Life Tip

Nude pics in phone lost at McDonald's get online
2 days ago
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) — Here's some food for thought: If you have nude photos of your wife on your cell phone, hang onto it. Phillip Sherman of Arkansas learned that lesson after he left his phone behind at a McDonald's restaurant and the photos ended up online. Now he and his wife, Tina, are suing the McDonald's Corp., the franchise owner and the store manager. The suit was filed Friday and seeks a jury trial and $3 million in damages for suffering, embarrassment and the cost of having to move to a new home. The suit says that Phillip Sherman left the phone the Fayetteville store in July and that employees promised to secure it until he returned. Manager Aaron Brummley declined to comment, and other company officials didn't return messages. "LINK"

I can't believe that I have to post this as a life tip but here goes - Unless you have consented to and signed a bunch of legal looking papers do not pose nude for a camera, even if your better half is on the other side of the lens, because at some point (mark my words) it will come back to haunt you.
If you pose naked for a cell phone picture you're a dumb ass and whatever happens to you, you probably deserve.

Oh wait a second I have a feeling that Mr Sherman might be able to walk away from this with a life lesson - "Don't leave your cell phone lying around"

18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have

"Goose" and I are participating in the Men's Health 52 Day Challenge so in honor of that I busted out an old Men's Health column.

1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.

2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.

3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.

4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork, this magazine.

6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.

7. An unstamped passport.

8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.

10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.

13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, "Take me on your futon."

14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else's office.

16. A secret handshake.

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Especially those kitschy McDonald's Hamburglar ones.

18. A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop..."

Life Tip

No matter how helpful you might think it is don't mention to your better half "It sure would be nice if you folded the toilet paper like they do in the hotel bathroom" I'm just saying........