Maine man faces OUI charge atop Zamboni

PORTLAND, Maine—A Portland man faces a drunken driving charge after police found him aboard an idling Zamboni inside the Cumberland County Civic Center.

Police and firefighters were alerted by an alarm at about 2 a.m. Tuesday that somebody was inside the arena, which is home to the Portland Pirates hockey team.

Police officers discovered 22-year-old Adam Patterson attempting to operate the Zamboni, which had crashed into a wall inside the civic center's storage area.

Police say Patterson appeared to be intoxicated, and that he had also operated two fork lifts and damaged a sprinkler system, interior walls and a hockey net. Patterson was charged with operating under the influence, burglary, criminal mischief and violation of bail conditions. "LINK"

Not only a functional drunk but so functional of a drunk that he shows up for work. Adam is such a stellar empolyee that we was willing to help out the fork lift boys and as an added plus he can the sprinkler repair boys something to do during this economic slow down. alchol the great equalizer and material provider.

Yet Another Life Tip

Car Hits, Kills SC Man 'Relieving Himself' In Road

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
ANDERSON, S.C. -- Authorities say a South Carolina man was standing in the middle of a road to relieve himself when
he was fatally struck by a passing car.
Anderson County Coroner Greg Shore tells the Anderson Independent-Mail that 28-year-old Markie Hood died shortly
after he was hit around 1:45 a.m. Wednesday.
Shore said Hood and two friends were driving home after drinking at a Pendleton bar when the driver let Hood and his
friend out on U.S. 76 near Interstate 85 to relieve themselves and drove away.
The second man left the scene after Hood was hit. Shore said he nearly hit that man as he drove to the scene.
Troopers said they have no plans to charge the driver of the passing car. "LINK"

Two life tips in the same week.
This tip is easy "Don't pee in any place that doesn't have a door and don't pee any place that has a traffic light".
Of course you know as well as I do that the key to this article is the phrase "after drinking at a Pendleton bar"

Nothing Good Comes From Alcohol

Woman runs over driving instructor

By ASSOCIATED PRESS Published August 6, 2007

NAPLES - A man giving a 30-year-old woman a driving lesson had to be airlifted to a hospital after the woman accidentally ran over him, the Collier County Sheriff's Office said.

David Tanner, 51, was teaching Victoria Hosner how to drive Thursday night when she accidentally hit the gas pedal and accelerated backward, according to the Sheriff's Office.

Tanner was standing near the vehicle and was knocked to the ground. Victoria Hosner then ran over Tanner's leg.

"It was totally an accident," Victoria Hosner's husband, David Hosner, said.

Victoria Hosner continued to drive in reverse and caused about $6,000 worth of damage, authorities estimated.

Tanner was airlifted to Lee Memorial Hospital in Fort Myers. He was discharged by Sunday, according to hospital records.

A deputy thought Hosner's eyes were bloodshot and her breath smelled of alcohol, according to the Sheriff's Office. A test measured her blood-alcohol level at .146, above .08, at which the state presumes a driver impaired.

Hosner faces charges of driving under the influence, three counts of driving under the influence with damage to property or to a person and driving without a license.

She was released on $4,250 bail Friday, according to jail records.

[Last modified August 6, 2007, 00:28:27] "LINK"

What did this lady think she was a "flight attendant"? Looks like a big week for drunks. How come the driving instructor didn't pick up on the bloodshot eyes or ListerBeam breath? And how fast do you have to be going in reverse do pull off $6000.00 in damages? Maybe she crashed into a $5000.00 statue, who knows..................
I would imagine if you were a driving instructor your biggest fear would be being involved in an accident while inside the car, this poor cat probably never imagined being injured while being on the outside of the car.

Picture/Story Of The Week

DUI Suspect Arrested Wearing "I'm A Drunk" Shirt
POSTED: 8:07 am EDT August 3, 2007

UPDATED: 1:23 pm EDT August 3, 2007

TAMPA -- A Florida woman arrested on charges of drunken driving for a second time since April was taken into custody wearing a T-shirt that read, "I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk -- Alcoholics go to meetings."The T-shirt with the drinking message was visible in Amanda Lynn Bailey's mug shot Wednesday.Bailey, 41, was charged with driving under the influence and driving with a canceled, suspended or revoked license. She posted $750 bond and was released.Police did not capture any T-shirt messages during her April arrest for drunken driving, the report said. "LINK"

Un-freaking-believable there's not much of a chance of talking yourself out a D.U.I while you're wearing that shirt. Two D.U.I arrests in the last 6 months this chick needs to move to Hollywood and hang out with Lindsay or Nicole. And what's with a $750.00 bail, can you say habitual?
Maybe she can show up for court wearing a "The court finds probable cause..... to have another martini" shirt. "LINK"

Puff The Magic Dragon

It seems as if poor lil' old Nicole has gone a got herself in a mess of trouble "LINK" and of course this isn't the first time:
In 2003, Richie was arrested for heroin possession and spent time in rehabilitation. I'm not much of a medical type dude but it appears to me that rehab DID NOT WORK.
She admitted to officers that she had smoked marijuana and taken the painkiller Vicodin, said CHP Sgt. Mark Garrett. Again it appears that rehab DID NOT WORK.
Earlier this year, production of "The Simple Life" was postponed because Richie had entered a treatment facility to deal with her inability to gain weight. OK so now we're trying to gain weight and I understand that smoking dope can lead to the munchies but somehow this unconventional style of treatment is not going to be widely accepted by the medical community.
Besides how tough is it to gain weight? And don't give me the excuse "I had a hard life", your the daughter of Mr "All Night Long" Lionel Richie. How hard was it growing up? Your main focus thought should be "Damn, I've got a really good thing going here with my Dad and all, I don't want to screw anything up", guess what????
And what the hell is it with these celebrity types that get all jacked up on booze or pills hop into their SUV and set out on the highway driving in the wrong direction?
And another thing this chick must have been stoned out of her ever loving skull to stop in the carpool lane.