Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Monday, February 16, 2009

Usually

it's the men that think they're the financial adviser.



Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune. One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  Her natural beauty took his breath away.
'I may look like just an ordinary man,' he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit $65 million.'
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
 

Monday, January 26, 2009

Kyocera Vet

I forgot all about this commercial. Nothing like a Monday laugh

Saturday, January 17, 2009

For You Political Types

in other words you folks that are still sporting the McCain Palin bumper stickers.

"DP" sent this and believe it or not I had not seen this.......

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive",
Barrack Hussein Obama has been telling everyone he will capture Osama Bin
Laden when elected. So Osama himself decided to send Barrack Hussein Obama a
letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Obama opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:
370H-SSA-0773H.

Obama was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Howard Dean. Dean and the DNC and
his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to Joe Biden. Joe Biden could
not solve it, so it was sent to the FBI and the CIA.

Finally, they asked Sarah Palin to solve it. Within a few minutes Palin
e-mailed Obama with this reply: "Tell Obama he's holding the message upside
down."

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Lets Jump In The Time Machine

and fast forward a couple of months to when the big analog to digital TV conversion takes place.
This is your Grandmother & this is what you're in store for.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

P.S. I Love You

"DP" sent this to me this afternoon, make sure to check out the PS at the bottom.

To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about
the small accident I had with the pickup truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry
too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pickup fortunately came to a halt
when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.
XXX



P.S. Your girlfriend called

Saturday, October 25, 2008

A New Marketing Campaign For Target?

probably not.


http://view.break.com/593274 - Watch more free videos

Didn't Newton once say something along the lines of "every object will remain at rest or in uniform motion in a straight line unless compelled to change its state by the action of an external force"
and how come none of those carts managed to find the passenger door of my card.....

Friday, October 17, 2008

Sick Day

CHINESE SICK LEAVE

I NO COME WORK TODAY!!!

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I
really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come
work.'

The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you
today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to
give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try
that.'

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel
great. I be at work soon... You got nice house.

Thanks to "MBK" for that International Gem

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Bush's Tax Rebate

from Cold Chilli by Cold Chilli LINK
(Don't send this to the Gov of NY....He was ahead of this e-mail....)
How to use the rebate
As you may have heard the Bush Administration said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate.
If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs,
If we purchase a computer it will all go to India,
If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatamala,
If we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan,
If we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan
and none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America, so the only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

Sincerely,
Client #10

LINK


I only wish I was creative enough to think of this.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

You Might Live In A Bad Sectrion Of Town

if the ATM you use looks like this. "Flickr Link"

Monday, January 14, 2008

List Of The Day: Best of 2007 Mugshots Of The Day



Over the past few weeks "List Of The Day" has become a daily read (hence the name), but the mug shot post needs to be shared with the rest of the world. Matter of fact I recognize one of the ladies as a local.
List Of The Day: Best of 2007 Mugshots Of The Day

Monday, December 24, 2007

Woman spends three days inside Lilburn Wal-Mart shopping

Woman spends three days inside Lilburn Wal-Mart shopping
By Christy Smith
Staff Writer

LILBURN - While Gwinnett County's three malls fill with last-minute shoppers, the Wal-Mart in Lilburn hosted a woman on a three-day shopping spree last week.

Lilburn Police Detective Matt Lake said the 70-year-old woman spent three days inside the Wal-Mart at 4004 Lawrenceville Highway (U.S. Highway 29). She ate at the Blimpie, he said, although no information was available as to how she slept in the 24-hour store.

The woman's name and the accompanying police report was unavailable at press time.

Assistant Manager Danny Black declined to comment. Members of Wal-Mart's public relations staff did not return calls for information by press time.

"She spent three straight days in Wal-Mart," Lake said. "Employees called the police department. She asked an officer for a ride home, she paid for her merchandise and the Lilburn police gave her a ride home."

No information was available as to what the woman purchased or the cost of the merchandise she had amassed during three days of shopping. "LINK"

This is why Wal-Mart rules, where else can you spend 3 days warm from the cold, dry from the rain and safe from the flying bullets. Watch a few DVD's play some Halo3, need some exercise just pull a bike down off the rack and go for a spin. Need some rest test one of the recliners out, upset stomach head over to the pharmacy.
I like to think of Wal-Mart as a biosphere with a Blimpie's

Saturday, August 25, 2007

A Few Good Men



That's why I say "Always get a receipt".

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Copier Frustration?


The ultimate revenge? It's only a copier how pissed off can it make you?

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Busted

As a long, long, long time sufferer of "NES" I can relate. "LINK"

Thursday, July 12, 2007

That's Gonna Leave A Mark



Chuck Storm. Just the name itself is strong, brooding and intense. As the Action 5 News "On the Beat" reporter for the small station in Portage, Wisconsin, he has forged a legendary trail on the journalism path. His ability to break news is remarkable.

But Chuck Storm has a problem. As a small child in Portage, he was hit by his father's John Deere tractor which almost killed him. From that moment Chuck has been accident prone and his ability to get hurt in what may seem a safe place is assured.

Yet his enthusiasm for reporting the news and his love of his hometown Portage, Wisconsin, he continues to work...against Doctor's orders.
"LINK"

Sunday, May 13, 2007

What Happens To People When They Get Old

"Sometimes your hair gets white" or it turns clear.
Here are the thoughts of our little angels, the same angels that are supposed to take care of US when we get old. "Click Here To See The Whole Flickr Set"
via "BoingBoing"

Sunday, May 06, 2007

No Thanks I'm Not Hungry

"AD" took this picture just to keep us abreast of the latest North Carolina food trends.
"Spotted Dick" what am I still 12 years old?

Sunday, April 29, 2007


Accident or on purpose? "404 Error"