Monday, February 27, 2006

Nice Tooth


A few months ago we had someone land a stolen airplane at the local airport. The police then arrested the alleged pilot of this stolen craft and he is now in jail awaiting trial. Well it now seems the pilot's parents are complaining that their bouncing baby boy's mouth is suffering from the ravages of gingivitis. Why you ask? Well because the jail will not allow dental floss to be in the possession of the inmates. I can think of at least a million reasons why I would not want the prison population to be in possession of something capable of severing a human neck.
Now the local Sheriff wanting to accommodate this alleged pilot's parents request (I just love this next part) has moved this young man so that he can share a cell with Bart Corbin. Who is Bart Corbin? You see Bart Corbin is charged with murder in the death of his wife but aside from that he is also a trained dentist.
This is an example of a Sheriff killing 2 birds with one stone... "LINK"

Now always being one to offer a solution whenever a problem arises. I propose passing out "Oral Brush Ups" to all of the prisoners. And from the looks of these things I'm sure the inmates could find a few more uses for em'

Curious George


Well as everyone has heard by now it seems that George Michael has been busted for drugs. "LINK"
Now George has been the butt of many a joke, is he gay? Is he straight? Is that him hiding behind the public restroom door? His "Faith" album was well done and the tunes still sound good almost 20 years later.
OK, enough of this feel good crap it's now time for the first Frick's World Public Service Announcement.
Hey all you big time rock stars, actors, authors etc.... you guys are loaded down with cash. If you are going to partake in the wilder side of life by entering "Crack-head Canyon" do yourself a favor and take some of that hard earned cash and hire someone to go and fetch your drugs for you. Believe me America is tired of hearing about how you were found and then subsequently arrested while slumped over the steering wheel of your exotic sled with a couple of plastic bags "Mothers Little Helper" on the laying on the floorboard. Just a little Public Relations advice from little ol' me.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

An Invitation To Get Screwed


I eat a bunch of meals on the road and a bunch of those meals are eaten alone in a hotel room with just the TV as my dining partner, but don't feel sorry for me, really, and I'm traveling alone I will occasionally eat fast food (Shhhhh, I can hear myself getting fat).
When doing the fast food thing I never go through the drive thru because it is an opportunity to get screwed. Those counter lizards can't get an order right to save their ass. Yeah, they can get you your food in less than the 60 seconds (like the consultants advise) but your always missing something. For example last night we went out to babysit for our God Children and decided to make a run for the border and grab some Taco Hell to eat while watching the kids. Now I do like Taco Hell, where else can you eat dinner for $4.00. The order was very simple 4 combo meals (2 with diet Pepsi and 2 with regular Pepsi) a spicy chicken burrito and some hot sauce, pretty simple. What did we get but 4 regular Pepsi's no chicken burito, no hot sauce and no napkins. I bet those consultants have even have a line item on the P&L for drive thru screwings. I can just imagine how much money a restaurant can save by shorting someone a spoon, straws napkins etc...... Most of the time we are home before we notice the discrepancy, Yea, I know it's part our fault for not checking our order before we leave but damn you would think some acne ridden 17 year old would be able to get something right since he is reading off of a monitor.

Friday, February 24, 2006

I Wish I Was Going To Mardi Gras

If for no other reason than to pick up one of these shirts.........

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Amazing


I have never used MSPaint for much more than, well I never use MSPaint, but this guy seems to have mastered it. He claims it's no joke, no copy and paste, just a lazer mouse and lots of time.
"LINK"

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Should Have Had A Bluetooth


CLARK COUNTY
Woman's Arm Severed In Car Accident

A Letcher County woman suffered a horrible injury early Thursday when her arm was severed in a car crash on the Mountain Parkway in Clark County.

Jacqueline Dotson and her six-year-old daughter had to be cut out of their vehicle after the accident in which Dotson veered into the median and over-corrected, rolling her truck over the guardrail and landing upside down after flipping several times.

Several people stopped to help, and it turns out, the good samaritans may very well have saved Dotson's life. Sheila Vice, a nurse's aide, and an off-duty EMT from another county stopped to help, and put a tourniquet on Dotson's arm to stop the bleeding. Her arm was found near the accident still clutching a cell phone.

"Basically we stayed there and talked to them until the EMT drivers got there," said Vice.

Rescuers used the jaws of life to get the Dotson and her daughter out of the truck. Both were flown to hospitals, and Dotson is listed in serious condition at UK Hospital. Her daughter is not in the hospital, and sheriff's officials say they believe she's going to be fine.

Both were wearing seat belts. "LINK"

A Trend Has Begun

A month or so ago I had the opportunity (lucky me) to snap a picture of a local with a ladder strapped sideways across the top of his van "LINK". I figured that it was a one time thing, kind of like a UFO sighting. I might have a picture but friends and family would still be skeptical.
Well it seems that others have seen the same. "Huntfish" sent me this picture that he snapped on another local highway. No wonder Atlanta is the crushed ladder capital of the world.

"Click Picture For Bigger Size"

Marriage Is Grand Divorce Can Be 200 Grand


Found this link over at "NGTO" . It's is a few months old.





Man Sinks $200,000 Yacht Rather Than Lose It In Divorce
POSTED: 12:39 pm EDT September 29, 2005
UPDATED: 1:18 pm EDT September 29, 2005
A British man sunk his $200,000 yacht in southwest England Wednesday rather than let his estranged wife sell it for a knockdown price after the couple decided to break up.Briton Mark Bridgewood, 49, was so angry that his wife had put his luxury boat up for a low price that he rowed out to the vessel under the cover of darkness and sank it in Dartmouth Harbor, in southwest England.The final straw in the couple's bitter break up came when Tracey Bridgewood advertised the yacht in a local newspaper last week, saying she wanted a quick sale and was prepared to let the yacht go for $72,000.After that, Bridgewood armed himself with an axe and scuttled the yacht, called "Rebel"."It's sacrilege to have a boat of this quality sunk on the bottom," harbor master Capt. David White said. "It's like tearing up 5-pound notes and throwing them away, it really is."
Authorities floated the vessel to the surface and pumped out water before taking it to a nearby boat yard."It must have been one hell of an argument," a resident said.Police plan to charge Bridgewood $18,000 for sinking the yacht and for recovery costs.Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Walmart Vineyard


I just love Walmart. No matter what small town I end up in I can always find a Walmart to pick up whatever odds & ends I might be needing. Matter of fact I bought a new TV there this morning. Well it seems that news on the street Huggie Bear is that Walmart will begin selling their own private lable wines.

Some Walmart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item: Walmart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2-5 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Walmart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I. She said: "The right name is important."

So, here we go: The top 12 suggested names for Walmart Wine:

12. Chateau Traileur Parc
11. White Trashfindel
10. Big Red Gulp
9. Grape Expectations
8. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays" [Kruse, Keith M] (Translated "Shit of the Land")
7. NASCARbernet
6. Chef Boyardeaux
5. Peanut Noir
4. Chateau des Moines
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Riesling

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine ..

1. Nasti Spumante

"LINK"

Yeah I know this is an old hoax but I was lacking some content

A Little Late Weighing In On This One


Lets see Britney's rapping husband K-Fed was nominated as "Father Of The Year" so it's only fitting that we now nominate Britney as "Mother Of The Year". It's amazing that in this country you need a license to drive a car, get married, even cut hair, but you don't need to have a license to a baby. No tests or exams no required classes no nothing......
I would imagine that Britney & K-Feds' little bundle of joy would end up with snapped neck from the airbag exploding in his face or maybe he would end up with the "Escalade" emblem (you don't think she's driving a KIA do you) from the steering wheel tattooed in the middle of his forehead if Miss Britney managed to bounce the Escalade off some sort of an immobile or mobile object as she was fleeing the poparattzi. Isn't that what happened to Princess Diana? Oh wait she was rolling in a Benz.
Maybe ole' Brit figured little Sean Preston was safer with her in any situation than being left with K-Fed.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Where's My Babies Daddy


In case your not from around here you may have never heard of "Lisa Clark".
Well in a nutshell here's her story. She's 37 she gets impregnated by a 14 year old, they are in love, they get married last November. Since then she has been brought up on molestation charges, well he was 14 after all.
Our little groom is no saint either he was in a juvenile home on a probation violation he then escaped from the juvenile home. Our pregnant blushing bride unknowingly even aided in the arrest of her 14 year old husband by mailing him a cell phone and a bag of cash (all 14 year olds need a cell phone) while the cops looked on. The baby is due in the next 10 to 15 days so I would say that gives our little love birds time to get their act together.
Now here is my favorite part lots of people have pictures of pregnant brides in wedding dresses but how many kids have a picture of their Mom pregnant, in court wearing handcuffs and while their Dad (who is 15 ) is also under arrest.

News Of The Weird


Balloon in car creates XL explosion
Tuesday, February 7, 2006; Posted: 8:40 a.m. EST (13:40 GMT)

SHERIDAN, Colorado (AP) -- A couple planning to set off their own Super Bowl pyrotechnics accidentally blew up their own car while transporting a balloon filled with an explosive gas.

Norman Frey, 46, and his companion suffered busted eardrums in the explosion Sunday as they drove to a party for Super Bowl XL, according to the Arapahoe County sheriff.

The balloon had been filled with acetylene, a flammable gas used in welding, and it had rolled across the back seat, possibly causing static electricity that ignited the gas.

The explosion broke windows, bent doors outwards and pushed up the roof about a foot.

"Looking at the car closely, it's amazing that these people weren't killed," Sheriff Grayson Robinson said.

Several people reported the explosion, but when a deputy arrived, Frey and the woman had abandoned the vehicle.

The license plate led them to Frey, who faces a felony charge of possession, use, or removal of explosives or incendiary devices. The woman will not be charged, authorities said.

"LINK"

It seems that after the explosion this cat abandoned his chariot and hitched a ride to the game. He was last seen mumbling "What's this damn ringing in my ear?"

Easter Is Just Around The Corner


"LINK"
What's the big deal I've got a cat close to that size.............
I guarantee you would hear this beast hopping down the bunny trail BOOM BOOM BOOM.
Look at the size of the rabbit feet.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Alex, I'll Take Fonts for $1000.00

Ever tried to liven up a PowerPoint presentation with some cool fonts? I once used 28 different fonts on a 10 slide presentation, how's that for edge of your seat action? Here's a site with several hundred free fonts from bands, movies & TV shows... "LINK"

The 80's


See how many of these make you smile. "LINK"